Rachel Paige
August 22, 2017 5:11 pm

The latest episode of Game of Thrones, “Beyond the Wall,” came with a whole lot of emotions, many of which I am still currently trying to work through, days later. It was, without a doubt, one of the most heart-wrenching 71 minutes of television to date — and sure, we’ve lost characters before in Westeros, but we’ve never lost a dragon. This is major.

But that’s not why I continue to reel from “Beyond the Wall.” You see, for the first time since they met, a mere four episodes ago, Jon “I’ve made a huge mistake” Snow and Daenerys “He’s too little for me” Targaryen finally seemed to show some feelings for one another. And by “show some feelings” I mean the two held hands a few times, and looked into each other’s eyes, and for a split second, everything was fine. I felt at peace.

While I know Jon and Dany are technically nephew and aunt, and I know incest is bad, for some reason I cannot stop thinking about the two of them together. It’s a weird thing plaguing my emotions, and I cannot shake it no matter how hard I try, and no matter how many other Game of Thrones fan theories I read on Reddit. I just want to talk about Dany and Jon and nothing else, OKAY? Let me live. Just let me have this wonderful, pure Game of Thrones moment, because who knows how many more we’ll get of them, if any!

So if you, too, find yourself deep in an emotional spiral because Dany and Jon held hands for like 15 seconds on Game of Thrones, welcome, my friends. I am here for you. We can all hang out here, together. Let’s relive their perfect moments together, before we have to deal with what will undoubtedly be one hell of a season finale.

This majestic emotional trip all started when Tyrion gently teased Dany about her feelings for Jon. Tyrion was like, “he’s so in love with you,” and Dany was like, “naaahhhh,” and then Tyrion was like:

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When Dany starts talking about Jon, she purposely pauses before saying his name, as if it were an afterthought. That is a classic girl-with-a-crush tactic — I know these things.

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So now let’s talk about how Jon gets himself in WAY over his head and has to call on Dany to save him (and the rest of the men beyond the wall). Dany shows up, and in a crowd of a thousand White Walkers/wights, she immediately finds Jon. The heart wants what it wants.

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In order for Jon to see Dany after she’s landed, he pushes Tormund out of the way. 

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Seeing that his girl has arrived, Jon “broods forever” Snow lets out the FAINTEST of FAINT smiles, because Dany has melted his ice-cold heart.

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These two are melting my ice-cold heart! And then my heart broke when Dany reached for Jon’s hand, but since he’s too “honorable” and also “an idiot,” he goes back to fight the wights.

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Let’s flash forward to the end of the episode, and WOW, Dany is relieved AF to see Jon come back to Eastwatch, semi-frozen and semi-unconscious on that horse.

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Okay, so Jon’s alive, love isn’t dead quite yet, and Dany awkwardly/lovingly/longingly (?) watches everyone tend to his wounds. Can’t help but see that he really was stabbed in the heart, HUH?

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Cool, now we’re at the boat scene. We all know what happens here. AKA: My emotions RUNNETH OVER.

First, Jon grabs Dany’s hand while he’s apologizing, profusely, over the fact that his careless mission got one of her children killed. If you only know one thing, Jon Snow, know this is YOUR FAULT.

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When it comes time to thank Dany, Jon actually calls her Dany. And do you hear that? It’s the sound of my HEART BURSTING.

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Oh wait, it gets worse for my heart, because Dany’s like, “Oh wow, my brother called me Dany, could you not?” So Jon’s like, “How about…my queen?”

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What is the appropriate response for me, a viewer? Because I know I blacked out during this moment, but I remember clutching my chest and letting out some kind of incoherent sound like I had been mortally wounded.

I’m on the verge of tears, and coincidentally, so is Dany.

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When Dany tries to pull her hand away, JON HOLDS IT TIGHTER. I assume when I get to heaven, this scene will just be playing on all the clouds around me. 

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When Jon finally lets go, he looks genuinely upset. We’ve seen Jon Snow sad before, but we’ve never seen him look this kind of sad.

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Danny, realizing that she is on the Jon Snow Train, and the next stop is Relationshipville, excuses herself from his bedside so he can “get some rest.” Jon goes to sleep.

MEANWHILE, I SPEND THE NEXT 48 HOURS WATCHING THIS SCENE SO MANY TIMES, I’M SURPRISED HBO HASN’T CONTACTED ME TO BE LIKE, “Hey Rach, u okay?”

No, I’m not okay. Since these two first met earlier this season on Game of Thrones, I have been trying to figure out if it’s weird to ship them, since they’re an unaware aunt and nephew. After this last episode, I have my answer. If Dany and Jon don’t end up happy together, having lil Iron Throne babies, I will set my soul on ice and fire.

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