David Dean
April 14, 2013 8:30 am

What a crazy, wild online world we live in. I’d like to preface this article by saying how amusing it would be to see the court reporter’s (stenographer’s?) face as he/she shorthand typed words such as ‘Redditor’, ‘confession bear’ and ‘quick meme’ while adding official comments from redditors such as CaptainCheeseBurger, WongoTheSane and MrMoustachio. That does sound like a fun threesome to hang out with, but that would be impossible since redditors spend countless hours on the hugely popular and hugely messy site Reddit.

If you aren’t familiar with Reddit (like, maybe you go outside sometimes) it’s a social news (questionable) and entertainment site where users slash redditors submit all the content via links or text. All the content can be voted “up” or “down”, which is used to rank the post and determine what content ends up on the front page. Allow me to now close my Wikipedia page on Reddit because it’s time to get down to what this is all about: The Confession of Murder, also known in this case as: I Didn’t Confess to Murder.

The man behind the madness is a Redditor known as “Naratto”. On a platform where people can share and speak their mind about whatever they please anonymously, things became very questionable when Naratto confessed to murder (allegedly) on a “Confession Bear” meme in an r/AdviceAnimals thread. Are you lost yet? Me too! I don’t have a clue what I’m talking about! I probably shouldn’t say that, though – that kind of honesty is what the “Confession Bear” meme is all about.

Naratto created a post titled “Finally have the guts to say it.” Followed by the “Confession Bear” meme, which is mostly used for silly confessions with phrases I assume look something like “Put tha milk carton back in tha fridge even tho it was empty. LOL.” However, Naratto’s confession was quite the opposite of silly. The meme stated: “My sister had an abusive meth addict boyfriend. I killed him with his own drugs while he was unconscious and they ruled it an overdose.” And to put it politely, that is when SHIT. GOT. REAL.

Redditor’s started digging and playing detective, and since Naratto was actually using his real account, the digging and detective playing was more like, um, just looking at Naratto’s account. Users slash redditor’s slash detectives soon discovered “A trove of personal details.” Which is really not even worth mentioning because the troves of personal details were quickly deleted as Reddit has a strict policy on posting personal information. According to lionheart1610k, “They found his full name, residence history, birthdate, military occupation, etc.” He added, “No clue how it’ll turn out.” (Via.)

Reddit users went bananas as more and more attention to the thread increased. Of course Naratto backtracked, saying, courtesy of Daily Dot, “I posted this wondering what would happen, there is SOME truth behind it, but I’m not saying what was true and what wasn’t,” the user said.” If I had a dollar for every time someone took me seriously on the internet, I would be able to retire from today alone.”

According to news agency RT at least one user has alerted the FBI to Naratto’s post. Retired FBI agent Harold Copus told The Huffington Post in a previous interview, “What you have to look at here is how you take [the conversation] to the next step, to bring it to that conclusion of a prosecution, and somebody going to jail,” Copus said at the time. “And I think that would be very difficult.”

Comments and threads are now mostly revering the non-suspect suspect as a “Dexter” type and of course references to “Breaking Bad”. One thing Redditors found out was fact though, is that Reddit can track your IP address. So, we all learned something.

Obviously the real victim in all of this is the bear. He carries so many peoples burdens. He needs a big BEAR HUG SORRY HAD TO SAY IT.

You May Like