Johnni Macke
July 30, 2016 12:40 pm
Netflix

Kimmy Schmidt, played by Ellie Kemper, is basically a modern-day superhero. Okay, she doesn’t wear a cape (although you know she would), and she technically doesn’t have any super powers, but she is ah-mazing. Throughout the first and second season of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, she perfectly describes the struggles of being a 20 something, even though she is 30 and we love her for it.

This post however is an ode to all of the great quotes from numerous characters on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt that you should start using in your daily life ASAP. Trust us, they might sound bizarre at first, but you’ll be the talk of the town once you throw these lines into your vocabulary.

“Beyoncé.” — Kimmy

We just can’t even handle how much we love Kimmy’s use of Queen B’s name. Instead of saying thank you the next time a fancy waiter brings you something, break out your best french accent and say Beyoncé, while tilting your head. It sounds legit even though it’s crazy.

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“I’ve been waiting so long, my Rachel’s starting to Phoebe.” — Jacqueline

This should definitely be the new way of telling time. When you’ve waited so long that Rachel from Friends iconic ‘do has become a full-on Phoebe (aka long and flowy) it’s time to move on from whatever you’re waiting on.

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“Hashbrown: no filter.” — Kimmy

Okay, saying hashtag in everyday sentences is funny on its own, but replacing that word with hashbrown is just so much better.

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“I’m pretty but tough, like a diamond. Or beef jerky in a ball gown.” — Titus

The next time you’re trying to get the point across that you’re one tough cookie, simply say you’re tough like “beef jerky in a ball gown.” It definitely paints a picture, don’t you think?

Kimmy: “You look like a million bucks!” Jacqueline: “I know you didn’t mean that to be hurtful, but…”

Jacqueline is always offended by hilarious things on the series so we decided her reaction to being told she looks like a million bucks is the perfect thing to say when you want to be overly dramatic or play a joke on someone who is being nice to you.

“So brunch huh? That’s Fraiser fancy” — Kimmy

Whenever you’re in need of a word to perfectly explain how fancy something is, it should now be based on the Frasier fancy scale (aka beyond fancy). Brunch or night at the opera equals Frasier fancy, while going to a birthday party at a winery is more Friends fancy (nice, but not over the top).

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“My parents are blimping into town tomorrow.” — Logan (the rich guy Kimmy dated)

It’s time to do away with the normal phrases that describe how one gets into town. No more “rolling” into town or “stopping” by for a visit, now you are simply “blimping” into town.

“What in the ham sandwich?” — Kimmy

If you’re bored of saying, “what the heck,” or “what in the world,” this is the ideal alternative. It is both outrageous and funny, so yes, please start using it all the time.

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“Sike!” — Kimmy

Sure this one is a little more normal than the other quotes, but it is equally as awesome. The ’90s phrase needs to make a comeback ASAP. Use it whenever you trick someone or say something you clearly don’t mean.

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“Am I the only person in this city who doesn’t just do whatevs whenevs? Fudge it to heck, where a demon with a thousand wee-wees fudges it forever!” — Kimmy

This quote has a LOT going on, but we love every part of it. You can abbreviate more words, as Kimmy does on the reg, or you can add “fudge it to heck,” into your vocabulary, which we highly recommend. It’s much friendlier than actually cursing, but it gets the point across that you are frustrated.

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For more Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt fun, checkout our favorite phrases (that don’t actually exist) from the show below: 

Snowbesity: When you don’t know if someone is fat because they are wearing a winter coat.
Midnight Eastern Gay Time: A new name for 3 a.m.
Massive C Word: Class act.
MILF: My Interesting Lady Friends.
Crotch Fruit: Your kid or kids.
Pocket Butthole: A scrunchie that is located in your back pocket.
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