Don’t get me wrong, I love American Horror Story — which is odd, because I usually shy away from horror things. But then I watched Murder House all those years ago, and I was hooked. I even love the series so much, I suffered through both Freak Show and Hotel! I wrote like, maybe a hundred fan theories about Roanoke alone.
But, in saying all of that, I must confess that I am having the most difficult time watching American Horror Story: Cult. It doesn’t feel like AHS anymore; it feels like some completely new show and I did not sign up for this. For someone who does not lean into the horror genre, I was finally coming to grips with all the blood and guts the show was sending my way. But now, clowns? Bees? Forcing Winter Anderson into a threesome? I’m a hot second away from tapping complete out of this season.
BUT here we are, and I’m going to try and tell you as best I can what happened in this week’s episode, “Winter of Our Discontent.” Get it? Winter? You get it. Here are 13 things that made me truly uncomfortable this week.
1. Kai’s “army” is now using The Butchery on Main as their own personal mess hall, which isn’t that uncomfortable. However, the fact that Kai’s “army” is clearly disregarding Ivy (and every other female who works there) is not sitting well with me. One of the guys tells Ivy to smile, and she reaches for a knife. I get it.
2. Not only that, everything now has to be homemade for Kai’s “army?” And the ladies of the cult have basically been reduced to servants? No.
3. In a flashback, Winter explains how Kai came to be this way, and it’s because they went to a super twisted literal murder house that they were invited to via the dark web. Just…don’t.
4. In another flashback, we learn that Detective Samuels strong-armed Kai into working with him to sell drugs, splitting the money 70/30. Oh, but more upsetting, also Detective Samuels has swords and also Nazi symbols in his apartment.
5. Samuels also can’t “get it up” unless he’s choking his partner.
6. FOR SOME REASON Kai thinks it’s a good idea for Winter to get pregnant with his baby who will be the messiah.
7. FOR SOME REASON Kai thinks it’s a good idea for Winter to get pregnant with his baby who will be the messiah. I know I repeated this twice, needed to stress how bonkers this is.
8. Instead of having sex with Winter, Winter will have sex with Samuels, and Kai will be having sex with Samuels in the most twisted threesome I will literally ever have to write about.
9. The song Kai chooses for this threesome is “I Swear,” by All-4-One.
10. Since Winter does not go through with getting pregnant, Kai punishes her by making her pick up trash along the highway while wearing a dunce cap.
11. After Samuels tries to rape Winter in his car, she shoots him in the head. Later, pins the blame on Beverly.
12. Kai kills his older brother. Dr. Rudy Vincent for reasons I DO NOT KNOW because by this point I had kinda mentally checked out of the episode, sorry :/.
13. Ally is now part of the cult.
I’m just going to say it, Ryan Murphy, I really miss the ghosts this season. I miss them a lot.