I'm going to pretend this season of "American Horror Story" never happened, and I hope you'll do the same
After 11 — sometimes grueling — episodes, this season of American Horror Story has come to a close. The final episode of Season 7 and Cult’s swan song, “Great Again,” wrapped up just about every loose end on the show, while still managing to introduce a few more, because there’s nothing American Horror Story loves more than a good mystery. Kai Anderson was brought to justice, Ally Mayfair-Richards got her day in the sun, and viewers were shown like, 15 too many dead bodies before the end of the episode.
So it was basically your typical American Horror Story episode.
However, it was not your typical American Horror Story season. As a self-proclaimed American Horror Story historian, I’m just going to come right out and say it: This was my least favorite season. Here, I thought nothing would be worse than suffering through Freak Show, but I was wrong. Hotel didn’t even turn me off of the series, even though Lady Gaga was a vampire. I would gladly watch Asylum 10 times right now than ever have to deal with Kai’s cult ever again.
There is no right way to be an “American horror story,” however, if you ask me, there’s a wrong way to do it, and Cult succeeded in that regard. The show, all along, was built around the mysterious, supernatural, and unexplained aspects of life. Over the last six seasons we’ve had ghosts, zombies, witches, vampires, more ghosts, ghosts that murder, ghosts that can have sex with you, conjoined twins, and that Pig Man from Roanoke.
What did Season 7 have? Uh, Politics? And impressive interior design? And, uhhhh, bees? And on a few occasions, a trip to the therapist? None of that really screams ~spooky American history and culture~.
I totally understand what Ryan Murphy was going for with this season of AHS. He was going for a literal American horror story, in the sense that this is what could happen if we let our fears get the better of us — and for some of us, they have since the 2016 presidential election. But the season was neither a sharp commentary on our nation’s current political division, nor did it feature any gd GHOSTS, which means it felt somewhere in-between what it should have been.
Cult should have been great; instead, it missed countless marks, and even after watching all 11 episodes, I can’t even name half the characters of this season off the top of my head. (Meanwhile, for Roanoke, I think I wrote like 75 fan theories because I was that obsessed.) The performances were, as usual, great, but even stellar turnouts from Sarah Paulson and Evan Peters couldn’t get me hooked.
And how dare the show tease me with a Lana Winters shoutout with like 15 minutes to go before the end. How dare it.
With all that being said, American Horror Story has already been renewed for Season 8 and 9, which means we should quickly be able to put this season completely out of our minds, like something from a really weird
dream nightmare. Here’s to making AHS great again.