Um, guys. I just heard the juiciest rumor about Broad City: Diane Keaton might make an appearance next season. Quick, everyone put on your best menswear in celebration.
And while it’s still a rumor, apparently, thanks to some Twitter flirting between show creators and stars—Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer—and Ms. Keaton, there is a great chance we may be seeing her on season two of the Comedy Central hit show.
So what better motivation for us to dream up other dreamy things we want to see in season two? Exactly. Perhaps some of these err on the side of overly-specific/delusional, but it comes from a loving place. Here are nine things we’d be really excited to see in the next season of Broad City. (C’mon, broads.)
1. Bring back Amy Sedaris as Pam, the belligerent realtor.
While we’re being greedy and asking for Diane Keaton, how about another dose of Amy Sedaris? When Amy shows up in a Smartcar overflowing with papers, parks it on the sidewalk and emerges wearing a neck brace? Or when she shows them a rental that is basically a hallway and calls it a “beautiful, railroad-style apartment?” Someone on the show must need to move again, right? BRING HER BACK. Oh, and since we’re throwing out wishes, how about another dose of angry chef Amy Poehler too? Also, maybe Michael Cera as a guy joining Abbi’s gym who needs personal training. That’s all I ask!
2. Lincoln gets what he deserves.
While I think the softness and tenderness of Lincoln’s character is one of the best parts, I kinda wanna see him pull a fast one on Ilana and see if she can’t be more appreciative of him. I picture it as Lincoln reading Cosmo on his way to work where the headline is like “Stop letting him take you for granted, gurl!” and he follows the advice to a T and Ilana realizes she loves him for real. Or maybe a new woman enters who loves Lincoln’s personality and it makes Ilana wake up.
3. Abbi finally gets a shot at work.
But the twist is they only let her teach the weird classes that they are “trying out” to see if members like them. So Abbi is finally an instructor (only cleaning toilets part-time), but what she is teaching is super weird like Yogging (yoga + jogging) or Zumboxing (kickboxing + zumba.)
4. The gang goes to a music festival.
The likes of Burning Man and Bonnaroo and Coachella are so ripe for parody, that I would just love to see Abbi and Ilana and Lincoln and gang take a trip out to some weekend music festival. Maybe Lil Wayne is performing so Ilana’s dreams can come true.
5. The girls play with online dating apps.
Abbi and Ilana are always dealing with some sort of awkward dating situation (remember when they Facebook messaged all of their old high school crushes?) so why not have them get on Tinder, and then, in true ‘big moneymaking idea’ style, try to turn it into a side biz. They attempt to help dudes take better pics for their profiles and in the process, maybe meet some love connections? Tigers optional.
6. Bevers and Abbi do a juice cleanse.
Bevers is the worst roommate ever. And I don’t know why I think this would be great, but maybe Abbi finally admits that Bevers has one good idea, only to have it turn out that, of course, he doesn’t. It could be a bonding opportunity OR the chance for Abbi’s real roommate (have we ever met her? if not, add that to the ‘must-see in season two’ list) to dump Bevers.
7. Abbi and hot neighbor go on a proper date.
I think his name is Jeremy, but it doesn’t matter because all I focus on are his chocolate eyes and magic smile. What I’m saying is, I see what Abbi sees. And I’d love to see the two of them finally go on a real date. And then for Abbi to realize Jeremy is really into some specific religion and Abbi tries it out.
8. Ilana dates more weirdos who seem really normal at first.
I enjoyed her improv nightmare date so much I want her to go out with some other really specific dudes. Next up should be a Silicon-Valley type who is selling something that actually makes no sense. Like Yo app or Push for Pizza. She can never get a real answer out of him for what his app/company does and it makes it impossible for her to be attracted to him.
9. We meet the families!
Let’s have some parents’ weekends or some rascal siblings come into town needing to borrow money. I want to see where these kids come from and why they are the way they are (lookin’ at you, Ilana.)