Rachel Paige
March 31, 2016 10:00 am

Bummer news, friends. Today, our precious NBC Page, Kenneth Ellen Parcel, dies.

Take a few moment to cry and let it all out.

According to the late, great 30 Rock, Kenneth meets his ultimate demise on March 31st, 2016. THAT’S TODAY, for anyone not looking at a calendar. It’s unclear how it happens, but in the 100th episode of 30 Rock, appropriately titled, “100,” Kenneth, Jenna, and Tracy sit around and speculate where they’ll be in five years.

Turns out, Kenneth is DEAD. So sad.


BUT THEN, his Page-uniform-wearing-hand sprouts out of the ground, giving us a happy thumbs up. So Kenneth isn’t gone forever, he’s just gone for now.


If we’re really going to follow the rules of the 30 Rock television world, the specific date of the “five years later” flash-forward happens on April 21st, 2016 (seeing as how “100” aired on April 21st, 2011). That means, we don’t have to go on for too long without Kenneth in the world. He might die (“die”) on March 31st, but then comes back to life on April 21st. You know, because he’s immortal.

But for right now, RIP Kenneth. You lived every week like it was Shark Week, and you will be missed.