Shaunna Murphy
February 17, 2017 7:08 am
John Phillips/Getty Images for BFI

It’s pretty impossible to believe, but the “I Heart TS” tank top is not the most disastrous thing to ever happen to Tom Hiddleston on a beach — he once peed on his The Night Manager co-star Tom Hollander thanks to the latter’s pesky, painful jellyfish sting, and we feel like that’s considerably more traumatizing than a little bit (okay, a lot) of bad press.

On Friday night’s episode of The Graham Norton Show (which was taped earlier in the week), Hiddleston finally told his side of the story, after Hollander shared his version of “The Majorca Incident” on The Jonathan Ross show about a year ago.

“Tom got stung by a jellyfish and he shouted across the beach, ‘I say old sport could you come and pee on me?'” Hiddleston explained. “And I engagingly obliged.”

How very Friends of him!

Of course, after heading home and doing a simple Google search on the matter, Hiddleston learned the terrible truth — peeing on someone’s jellyfish sting does them (and you) literally no good, unless you count “having a fun anecdote to share on talk shows” as “good.”

“I’ve since read up on it and I don’t think it works,” Hiddleston concluded. “It’s an old wives’ tale.”

It’s important to note that Hiddleston’s side of the story doesn’t quite match up with Hollander’s, as the latter insists that it was Hiddles who initiated the peeing.

“Out of the corner of my eye someone with sharp strokes [was] cutting through the water,” Hollander began. “Hiddleston had seen I was in trouble, [and] he came out to me. I was standing on a rock submerged in just a few feet of water and he said, ‘It’s alright. Stand back, I know what to do.’ And he said, ‘Where is it?’ I said ‘It’s all warm now.’ Tom had done what he needed to do which was to piss all over me. And I’m sorry to say, it doesn’t actually work.”

We truly don’t know who to believe. But more than anything, we just really, really want to stop thinking about this right now.