All the times your cat is actually judging you
Calling all cat moms and dads out there! We love our kitties, but I think we can all agree they can be a little sassy-spirited sometimes. It’s not like they’re mean (OK maybe sometimes) —they’re just a little salty. And judgmental. But it’s just because they have set very high standards for their servants owners, and when we do anything even slightly embarrassing, weird, or unexpected, it’s very upsetting.
So here are some of those times when your cat just wants to throw a little unabashed shade at you (and will do so by scratching your dresser, probably):
When you’re too lazy to turn the stove on to make a grilled cheese sandwich, so you just microwave two pieces of bread and a slice of cheese instead
I mean, making a grilled cheese is a whole ordeal. It’s so much easier just throwing some bread and cheese in the microwave and calling it a day. Your cat though? She thinks that’s disgusting.
All those times you try to bust out your best dance moves at home alone
Yeah, you think you’re so slick! Well, you probably are, but your cat probably thinks otherwise.
And then proceed to lip synch into your hairbrush
Pretending I’m in a music video or singing in front of a huge, fictional audience is like one of my favorite past times. It’s like karaoke, without the need to subject your upstairs neighbors to your off-key (but lovely) voice.
When you “clean” your room by shoving everything under the bed
Eh. We all do it. You’ll get it next week, right? (This greatly displeases your cat, since under-the-bed is one of her favorite places to nap.)
When you yell at your TV after someone does something sketchy or dangerous on The Walking Dead, or How To Get Away With Murder
How many times must your favorite characters be killed off by dead people crawling at a glacial pace (and making a LOT of noise while they do it)? Why is every single person on HTGAWM so frustratingly suspicious? You have every right to freak out, even if your cat is totally rolling her eyes, wondering why must you invest so much of your being into a loud box.
When you cry at the end of really emotional books
Cats arguably have no feelings, so they don’t really get why you put down The Fault in Our Stars with red eyes, a runny nose, and a crumbly heart. They just think you’re being a big, noisy baby.
When you throw books in anger because the ending severely disappointed you
Once again —cats just don’t care. Stop disrupting their cat nap with your disturbing emotions.
All those times you put the sheet on the wrong way while making your bed (and kept them that way, because #YOLO)
Your cat may not have opposable thumbs, but she probably thinks she can do a better job setting up the scared place in which you sleep (Either that, or she’s going to claw at the sheets later because things aren’t *just right* around here.)
When you don’t get her favorite brand of cat food at the grocery store
Hmmm, yeah, forget about cuddle time. This kitty is PO’d. Just try switching out Iambs for Purina again and your fancy suede couch is gonna HAVE IT.
As you unpack groceries and realize you’re probably not going to eat like half of the veggies you bought maybe too ambitiously
Psh. Humans. Try wasting food you actually had to chase first.
When you take like seven selfies for good measure
Your cat probably thinks you could be doing something a little more useful with your time, like petting her, or dangling that feathery string around.
When you take selfies WITH your cat
Your cat is not only judging you, she’s kind of hating you. Exploiting her good looks and cuteness for a picture? HOW DARE YOU.
When you try doing yoga by yourself but end up sprawling on the floor and eating some chocolate instead
You cat is the QUEEN of lounging, so when she sees you posing like a useless starfish on the carpet, she is just not amused. Get up and give me cat treats, human.
That one time (or two, or three) you forgot to clean her litter box
BAD MOVE there, pal. If you have a neat-freak for a cat, then you best be cleaning their potty every single day. (Don’t worry, I forget too sometimes. And yes, I face my cat’s wrath every single time I do so.)
When you leave bobby pins and bottle caps out as if you don’t know they’re about to become bona fide cat toys
OK, maybe your cat isn’t judging you so much as she’s secretly happy you’re a total litter bug. Maybe you’re not so bad after all, human person.