Rachel Paige
October 31, 2014 8:40 am

There’s been speculation for a little while now that Pee-wee would make the return back to the big screen. A movie was confirmed as far back as 2007, but everything had been quiet on the movie front for the last few years. Still, a true fan never loses hope and finally our waiting has paid off! Pee-wee himself, Paul Reubens confirmed that the movie is happening. Judd Apatow is slated to produce the movie, but the director is so far being kept mum.

Know what this means? More of Pee-wee’s quirky sidekicks and inventions will soon receive their millennia update. Not that Pee-wee or his stuff need updating. Everything he owned was weirdly wonderful and just realistic enough.  His home was like a shelter for ALL the fun things. Here are some of those things we dreamed of owning ourselves. Yes, it would most definitely be awesome to have a gang of anthropomorphic objects in my life every day.

Chairy



Chairy was a huggable velour chair that loved to engage in encouraging small talk. Think about how having an awful day and instead of going home to an empty apartment you go home to an apartment with furniture that will literally give you a shoulder to cry on. Why haven’t these been mass produced?

Magic Screen



Often, Pee-wee would literally jump into Magic Screen and completely immerse in the fantasyland located inside. Also, Magic Screen played movies. It really sounds like the most awesome iPad upgrade ever. At one point Magic Screen mentioned that she had a relative named Movie Screen, and since Magic Screen plays movies, what does Movie Screen do? Who wants to speculate with me? 

Jambi the Genie



Jambi was a genie that didn’t just grant three wishes but one wish a day. And yes, Pee-wee uses his one wish a day every day, but sometimes he does share with others. The only catch is that Jambi is allergic to dogs, so he wouldn’t be able to grant me a pile of puppies to play with. I’ll suck it up if it means having a Jambi in my apartment. 

The Breakfast Machine


Know what I love more than anything else? Breakfast. So in the house if my dreams, I have my own breakfast machine that squeezes me fresh orange juice and scrambled eggs every morning just with the assistance of a record player. Swap out pancakes for waffles and I’ll eat breakfast for dinner every day of the week. (For Pee-wee purists, we know this wasn’t in the playhouse but his ‘big adventure’ house. We still want it, bad.)

Clocky


Personally, I really love maps and Clocky was a clock shaped like the United States. I’d out a Clocky in every room. Clocky was also really good at introducing cartons — which is a plus — but he wasn’t so good at actually telling time.

Cowntess

Cowntess was a full grown, life-sized cow that spoke in an elegant accent  — and also wore a tiara and pearls and she’s probably my hero. Once, when Cowboy Curtis (played by Lawrence Fishburne) needed help getting ready for a date, Cowntess helped him prepare. I’d like an elegant cow to help me get ready for my dates, too, just for the novelty of having a cow assist me with my makeup and stuff. Cowntess was probably the reason I was obsessed with cows up until about freshmen year of high school. 

Everything about Pee Wee’s bike



Pee-wee loves his bike more than anything else —except maybe Dottie —so there’s no shame in wanting his bike, too. His bike is awesome. For someone who has never owned a proper bike to ride around town with, this bike is like the crème de la crème of flyers. For a while you could buy his bike on eBay, but the going price for it was $36,000, so keep your pennies.

(Images via here, here, here, here, here, and here.)

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