Katie Patton
July 27, 2013 9:00 am

Well, Gigglers, if you know me at all, you know that I have been left with a heavy heart and green-eyed outlook after the recent announcement of Adam Levine’s engagement to Behati Prinsloo. While my list of pop star prospects (read: swooned-over men I will likely never meet) is no doubt lengthy, the number one spot certainly took a hit when this hottie was swiftly swept off the market. The only thing cushioning the blow? Our culture’s incessant need to prove that the grass may not, in fact, always be greener on the other side. Each of us has at least one celebrity crush, but could it be that there are significant downsides to dating a pop star? In a day and age where opinions are offered up like candy on Halloween and social media breeds millions of real-time critics, our teenage dreams of dating Justin Timberlake may be more likely to turn into a nightmare faster than he can bring sexy back.

Let’s jump right in and talk about one of the most sought-after boy band members of all time, taking us back to the good ole’ days before we were blessed with social media and anonymous mouths run rampant. Remember when our boy JT started dating Britney? Sure, the duo became one of the most iconic pop culture couples of all time and the loyalists among us were devastated when they called it quits… but not as devastated as when the news broke that those blonde curls were off the market. Half of the world’s pre-teens (admittedly, many of us here at HelloGiggles included) turned against Britney before she had the chance to grow out of her plaid skirt and braided pigtails, all because she was smooching the biggest heartthrob of our generation.

These days, our pop culture-obsessed society has stepped it up a notch. Fan mail turned to hate mail when Selena’s up and down relationship with the Biebs went public, Taylor received actual death threats from “Directioners” after snatching up Harry Styles and, most recently, The Wanted’s Tom Parker had a teary-eyed better half after the public criticized her for having the audacity to have… wait for it… cellulite (gasp!). The bright lights of Hollywood can be a burden on any relationship and the public doesn’t seem to be in the business of cutting much slack these days. Could any of us really stand up to the cons of a famous dating life? Let’s find out…

Perfection Is Paramount

Apparently, you have to look good ALLLLLL the time. Obviously, since you were chosen by such a sought-after individual, you can never have a bad hair day, always have to change out of your pajamas before running to Starbucks and basically look like a Grammy nominee when you go to the grocery store. Also, since you are the “chosen one,” your body obviously looks like a magazine cover model post-Photoshop. COUNT. ME. OUT. Running errands is an activity that regularly comes after the gym, the need for Starbucks almost always outweighs the need for a shower on a Saturday morning and I am certain the general public would find a long list of flaws if I were photographed snuggled up to a pop star in a bikini. Famous boyfriend or not, none of us are perfect but the limelight seriously skews expectations and tunes out our conscience as we criticize.

Smile For The Camera

Naturally, since the public insists on knowing when your boyfriend pees, they want to know all about the lady who has his heart. Thanks to the paparazzi, his fans have the ability to inspect your every move in the pages of People. This is all fine and well when you are politely lunching with your mom. Now, think about the last time you did something kind of stupid. Remember that morning you woke up and thought to yourself, “Thank God no one got that on camera!” Well, now that you are dating a pop star, rest assured that all of your unfortunate moments are caught on camera. When E! premiered The Wanted Life this season, Kelsey Hardwick’s sweet, laid back, life of the party demeanor won over America’s pop culture hearts… until Tom Parker’s birthday, when the big bash left revealing photos of the singer’s long-time girlfriend plastered all over the Internet. Rather than come to her rescue, thousands decided they would scrutinize her body, letting her know loud and clear that her behavior was inappropriate, her thighs and butt were too big and her cellulite was undesirable. Considering Kelsey is a beautiful, well-below average sized girl with a lovely personality, it is clear that pop star girlfriends are not only expected to be perfect, they will also apparently be burned at the stake if hounding photographers capture their imperfection. Be sure to smile for the camera.

First Comes Love

First comes love, then comes marriage. Except for when love leads to heartbreak and you get to live out one of the worst aspects of dating while the tabloids and your beau’s fanbase track your every move. If your pop star boyfriend broke your heart, you’ll probably have the opportunity to read about what you did wrong or why you weren’t a good match while in line at the grocery. If you broke his, watch out; a loyal following and this little thing called Twitter are coming for you. I haven’t gone through many break-ups in my life, but those few I have under my belt did not include my Twitter feed being bombarded with hateful messages and slurs. Shouldn’t Taylor and Selena have been allowed to eat ice cream in their pajamas with their moms in peace?

Haters Gonna Hate

When it comes to pop culture and the crushes celebrities breed, no one hates the game, but plenty of people hate the player. Everyone’s favorite Victoria’s Secret Angel seemed to fall from the heavens after Levine put a ring on it. Once the news broke that PINK’s sweetheart had won over the Maroon 5 frontman for good, fans quickly left comments on articles about the duo that expressed their hatred of her for stealing “their man,” called her a slut and provided criticism over her post-engagement Instagram photo. Good old fashion jealousy and mob mentality apparently goes a long way in turning fans into fast critics. I would be willing to bet that if Mother Theresa herself came onto the scene and snatched up Zac Efron, someone, somewhere would find her flaw and shout it from the rooftops. It seems as though the significant others of our favorite pop stars could, in fact, be near perfection, but we have cultivated the ability to turn them into a mess of flaws when they land the one we covet.

By now, we know that the heart wants what it wants, but I suppose those whose hearts want a pop star must be prepared for a very public form of love. In my humble opinion, we need to wrap it up, ladies – get this obsessive, petty behavior under control. What was once all fun, games and doodles on our history books has turned a little toxic; when we can legitimately say there is a significant downside to dating our favorite pop star, we have a serious problem. Never mind that if women don’t stop bashing each other’s bodies, my head might explode.

Tearing someone down for simply having something we don’t is petty, unnecessary and just plain mean. Plus, remember that time that one girl stared at your boyfriend for about five seconds too long at the bar and you nearly  spontaneously combusted from trying to hold down your jealousy? Multiply that by approximately a million and that is what it would be like dating a hottie pop star. It is about time we cut these girlfriends some slack; they have real problems that don’t involve public opinion on their behavior or size of their butt. It is true that when you decide to date someone in the limelight, you must prepare to share the burdens of fame, but there is no reason the spotlight should shine so bright that it burns.

The grass is not always greener on the other side, but we also never know where life will lead us; someday we may find ourselves setting up camp on someone else’s lawn and heaven forbid it is a famous one. I do embarrassing things on a daily basis, so I hope we can start cutting our celebrity crushes’ better halves some slack before I finally land that date with Darren Criss or I am in trouble! Until then, let’s just be happy when other people are happy, famous or not. There are plenty of fish in the pop culture sea and I fully support getting your crush on. Just don’t be a hater.

Featured image via Glamour Magazine UK

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