Bridey Heing
March 10, 2015 8:40 am

The latest season of The Bachelor has come to an end, and now Chris Soules and the person he decided he loved (after a few months while dating other people), Whitney Bischoff, are off to the fields of Iowa! Despite a connection with runner-up Becca Tilley, Chris went with fertility nurse Whitney in the end.

OK, so now that you know that pertinent information you need to keep feeding your Bachelor brain with MORE information, because that is what happens whenever we take this “journey” together. We go kind of Bachelor starved after the finale and we need more, more, more.

Don’t worry, we have your back. Here are five post-Bachelor processing pieces you need to read to continue this “leap of faith.” Some of them are joyful, others not so much. Also, this whole Bachelorette twist next season, yeah, we’ll get to that. . .

1. First read the mandatory People article that comes out after every Bachelor win. Ah, yes, the annual “She/He is my soulmate!” interview. PEOPLE always gets the scoop on the final decision and any future plans, which includes a pretty serious move to the Iowa. Whitney told the mag, “I’m looking forward to the life that we’re going to start. I think a lot of great things are going to happen.” Also Chris talks about Becca (yeesh). “Becca is in a different place in her life compared to where I am. That doesn’t make it a bad thing, and it didn’t change how I felt about her, but it’s about trying to find the person that you can see in your life and that you have the best chance of making it work forever with,” he told People. “My sister said, ‘You’re not looking for a girlfriend, you’re looking for a wife.’ That’s the truth.”

2. Then read this story on Chris not being a farmer. High drama! Is “Prince Farming” not really a farmer? According to Politico, he’s a real estate contractor. ““He’s a great employee, great guy, does a terrific job buying farms,” Rastetter said, admitting that he himself has not tuned in to watch the show.” For shame, ABC.

3. Now get yourself settled with a cup of coffee enjoy Chris Harrison’s recap of last night because it’s pretty goodNot to be confused with THE Chris of the moment, TV Host Chris Harrison does a bang-up job of analyzing the final episode. He also writes about the thing we all can’t understand. “It’s hard to explain to people outside this situation how it’s possible to be falling for two people at one time, but this show can do that. What happens is there are certain things that you tend to fall for in each person.” OK. Then Chris H. finishes the post with this kind of curious statement. “Whitney is a woman who will be able to handle the life that Chris represents. It won’t be easy, but I know she sincerely loves him and will do everything she can to make it work — and that’s all you can ask for.” Wait, what exactly is she getting into that we don’t know about? Don’t leave us hanging, C!

4. And let’s just address the deal with the new Bachelorette. As ABC taketh The Bachelor, so ABC giveth The Bachelorette. And to help soothe the pain of loss, they are bringing back TWO ladies from The Bachelor for the new season! Kaitlyn Bristowe and Britt Nilsson will both be appearing, and the tables will be turned. The men will decide which of the ladies sticks around. According to Bristowe, “I think what was going through my mind was, ‘Well, that’s not ideal.’ ”

5.. And finally, let’s take a look at what our fave former contestant, Sharleen Joynt, thinks of the whole Bachelorette thing. Here’s what she tweeted:

And with that, it’s all over folks! So I guess it’s time to wish Chris and Whitney the best as they sail off into the cornfields of Chris’s (maybe) farm. And we’ll be following Sharleen’s blog for some rad feminist commentary about this whole new Bachelorette system. Thank you and good morning.

(Image via ABC)

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