I’ll admit it: my first time watching Friends was when it came on Netflix in January. I know, I know! I’m a horrible ’90s kid. Twenty years later, I’m doing my best to make up for lost time. I’m not quite finished with the whole series, but I’m pretty close. During my Netflix adventures I’ve learned a few things. One, that I wish I was a Chandler, but I’m pretty sure I’m a Monica. Two, that I weirdly like all of their outfits, even the bad ones. And three, Ross Geller is unequivocally the man of my dreams.
If you’re any one of my friends, right now you’re probably making gagging noises and begging me to see reason. They hate Ross. They think he’s whiny and boring, and frequently try to persuade me to reconsider. But, where they see blandness, I see perfection, and let me tell you why.
1) He’s goofy. I don’t know what it is, but the more like a Golden Retriever a guy is, the more I just want to play. Ross is, undeniably, a bit of an oddball. But that’s a good thing. I like someone who I can be myself around, and Ross definitely isn’t intimidating.
2) He’s the only guy with a steady job. Okay, so Chandler maybe also—but what is it he does again? He definitely doesn’t like it, and what I like about Ross is that he has a job and loves it. He’s super into paleontology, and he always wants to share it with the person he’s dating. I’d definitely say yes to a picnic in the history museum.
3) He likes monkeys. Remember Marcel? I’d absolutely let Ross keep him, and I’d babysit. Perhaps we’d even get another monkey, because I definitely have my eye on this little guy.
4) He’s loyal. Say what you will—on a break, not on a break—he’s been there for Rachel through thick and thin. I know that if I was having a rough time, he’d stay by my side.
5) He’s nerdy. I mean, he is Doctor Geller, after all. So he likes puzzles and fossils? I like cats and board games. We’d get along great.
6) He has a nice apartment. Now, the apartment I’m picturing is the one he shares with Rachel, but he’s pretty much always had some nice digs. Mostly, because they’ve been his. As much as I love Joey, I don’t want him accidentally walking naked around my apartment. With Ross, you don’t have to worry about roommates—only Monica and Chandler who can see you through their window.
7) He’s good with kids. First Ben, then Emma. Sure, this could freak a lady out, but not me. Third time’s a charm? Don’t tell him I said that.
8) He’d definitely agree to a prenup. I mean, it’s Ross. Let’s be realistic.
9) He has a good relationship with his parents. While they might be a little crazy, we’d definitely be able to join them on family vacations.
10) I just want to cuddle him, okay? Love is blind and can’t be explained. I knew the moment I saw him on screen that he was my favorite, and you just can’t deny a love like that.