Rachel Bloom stars in this brilliant, painfully accurate musical tribute to "Heavy Boobs"
Anyone with heavy boobs knows that they can be like carrying a whole extra limb. Larger breasts might look awesome in a low-cut dress, but damn if they’re not uncomfortable to have right there on your chest sometimes. Now Rachel Bloom, star of one of our fave shows, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, just shared the ultimate anthem for this big-boobed struggle: “Heavy Boobs” perfectly captures the downside to having such generous assets in a catchy song that we’ll be humming all day.
“I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs/ Dense like dying stars/ I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs/ I can’t run real far,” the song begins. As these all-too-real lyrics are happening, Rachel dances so dramatically that her own boobs seem to be in danger of flying off, which is another struggle unique to those with double Ds just tryna get their groove on.
She then goes on to list all the things she can fit under her boobs, including a stapler, 10 pencils, a paperback copy of Arabian Nights, a dog bone, a remote control, a hardback copy of Wuthering Heights.
While that does sounds convenient to carry stuff around in your mammaries, she also details how things tend to get lost in there, all falling out when she gets ready for bed at the end of the day.
Our favorite part is when she sings “Let me break down what I just said / each of my double Ds is the size of a toddler’s head.” That really puts things in perspective for those of us with smaller breasts!
Whether or not you relate to the struggle that is having heavy boobs, you won’t be able to stop listening to Rachel so hilariously recount something that many women deal with all their lives. You can download the song on iTunes over here!