Laura Donovan
May 19, 2014 8:00 am

It broke my heart to learn Parks and Rec is ending soon, as Aziz Ansari’s boorish depiction of Tom Haverford is one of the funniest performances I’ve ever seen. Tom tries really hard to be suave, and though he’s somewhat popular with women, he’s far creepier than he is charming, and he says plenty of things that elicit eyerolls from any girl who’s ever been asked why she’s not smiling at a bar. He’s much more tolerable from the comforts of my own home than face to face, so I’ll definitely be sad when the program wraps up and there are no new business ventures from Tom Haverford to look forward to.

Thankfully for me, there are plenty of hilarious cads on TV, and another true d-bag happens to be on my favorite show New Girlthe shiny sitcom that gave us anime-eyed cutie Jess, cynical but lovable Nick, underserved goofball Winston, athletic Coach and Schmidt, the bro you wouldn’t want to date but could see as your best friend … roommate best friend, that is. I’m going to miss Tom, who always fails to be smooth, but know that Schmidt’s personality will get even bigger (and hopefully zanier) come season four.

Prior to Parks and Rec’s untimely conclusion, perhaps the NBC series can do a crossover episode centered on Schmidt and Tom. Add Jean-Ralphio to the mix and you’d have one giant d-bag explosion. Before you mourn the loss of Tom Haverford, remember that he and Schmidt are two peas in a d-bag pod. Here are a couple instances in which the two were essentially the same person. Schmidt will totally be able to fill the Haverford-sized void in your heart once Parks and Rec is out of the picture.

7. When they hopped on the bed

They can’t even fulfill basic tasks without acting at least a little silly!

Schmidt goes about this a tad more elegantly, but is no less goofy!

6. When they were insensitive about race

Oh, Tom. I bet that line works all the time!

Remember when Schmidt was two-timing Elizabeth and CeCe? Beware of guys who make impossible promises … and call you a “crazy [insert identity here] girl.”

5. When they got their groove on

Treat myself to a fedora? Nah, I’m good.

If I were Nick, I’d be a little overwhelmed too!

4. When they tooted their own horn

Have fun with that, Tom!

He’s got a point, though!

Enter hefty d-bag jar:

3. When they danced in public

Your hat, that’s what’s up!

His moves are so good, CeCe would be nuts not to take him back.

2. When they spewed gross come-ons/compliments

Food for thought!

Yeah, and this comment makes Schmidt an actual genius!

1. When they wore big kid clothes

Tom’s businesses are designed to thrive!

With dapper outfits like this, Schmidt the marketing powerhouse can make anyone listen to him.

What are some of your favorite Tom/Schmidt moments?

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