22 things I thought while watching the 'Point Break' trailer
What makes a movie crazy BANANAS? The original Point Break is about a rookie FBI agent tracking a group of surfers who pull off impressive heists. And if you can’t beat surfers at their own game, might as well go undercover, eh? So, Johnny Utah (played by an early ’90s Keanu Reeves) joins up with the Ex-Presidents — oh, because when these surfers steal stuff, they wear presidential masks, because WHY NOT?? — and tries to take them down from the inside. Not as easy as it looks, as Utah and the group’s leader, Bodhi (Patrick Swayze, always in our hearts), form a friendship making things complicated. Oh, and they surf and stuff.
So will this new movie follow that same plot? Who knows! Who cares! Within five seconds of the new trailer these dudes are jumping out of airplanes. Here’s what else I thought was crazy BANANAS about the new trailer.
1. OK, first, need to throw out there that the original Point Break was directed my Oscar-winning she-ro Kathryn Bigelow. She did not direct this remake. But we should leave it open for her to come back and direct the remake of this reboot, should she have time.
2. And then five seconds later, jumping out of airplanes and stealing a ton of money mid air, like that’s easy or something.
3. Ten seconds in, no one is surfing.
4. These perps have a “very unusual skill set,” which makes me think of Liam Neeson, because how can you NOT?
5. We meet the new Johnny Utah, who’s now Luke Bracey. Part of me wishes Reeves had returned to this role, even though I have faith in Bracey to deliver. He’s rocking some amazing Reeves-like hair anyway.
6. We also learn that it’s not just about pro surfers anymore, but instead EXTREME ATHLETES. These extreme athletes are always looking for an adrenaline boost, so they jump out of planes and parachute and snowboard, along with robbing banks.
7. The story is also now international. They’re extreme international athletes who are robbing everyone.
8. However, no president masks in sight. That’s a major bummer.
9. Utah is also an extreme athlete. In Point Break 1.0, he’s a football player. Need to know what kind of athlete New Utah is going to be.
10. Hello, New Bodhi (who is the bearded extreme athlete in the foreground).
11. SURFING. FINALLY.
12. Also getting a real Robin Hood vibe where they a real from the rich and give to the… ???
13. Oh wait sorry, they liberate the money and give to the…??? It’s just not clear.
14. Now, we’ve got extreme motocross racing during a rock slide, which I imagine is 15x more extreme than just regular racing.
15. If I were the FBI agent tasked with taking these guys down, I’d fail immediately.
16. Then Utah jumps out of a plane. See?? I’d be crying about whether or not I can be sure my parachute will deploy.
17. Utah doesn’t have a parachute. He jumps onto a gondola. Mid air. I can’t even watch this without getting cold sweats.
18. And now we’re on a boat. There’s probably a great story that goes along with Utah’s back tattoo. Any guesses?
19. Wait. Love interest alert. Also, this looks like a nice little BBQ.
20. And now they’re BASE jumping and look like flying squirrels. Sorry, but that’s what it looks like.
21. Then Bhodi free falls off the top of a waterfall because the only law he cares about is gravity.
22. Now that’s friendship.
OK, even without the surplus of surfing, Point Break looks amazing, so let’s go ahead and add into our pool for Oscar consideration right now. You can check out all the insane stunts and extreme feats when it opens in theaters this Christmas.
In the meantime, take a gander at the trailer in full:
Images via here.