Brittany Allen
August 27, 2014 2:07 pm

As NBC’s beloved Parks and Recreation approaches its seventh (and final!) season, we diehards are getting antsy. The season six finale left us with more questions than answers about our favorite municipal government-workers. Will Freddy Spaghetti seek revenge on Johnny Karate? Will the city ever find another miniature horse to love? Most importantly, given the final episode’s ending flash-forward scene: where and when will the series pick up, exactly? Last we saw, Leslie’s new position had grown into a thriving midwestern branch of the National Park Service. But will all of Pawnee’s best characters be so lucky? In the interest of wild speculation and wish fulfillment, here’s a list of things we hope will happen in season seven.

1. The Unity Festival takes off, putting Pawnee on the map.

In the season six finale, the parks department pulls of an epic outdoor concert without a single hitch. Just imagine if that fest were to become a perennial event! Pawnee could become a midwestern tastemaker, a cultural capital known for its musical innovation, or at least a cool place to see a concert.

2. The re-formed Mouse Rat and Duke Silver merge forces, forming a latter-day Dave Matthews-style fusion band.

In the season six finale, Ron Swanson finally reveals his secret identity as the silver-tongued saxophonist for Pawnee’s AARP generation. But what if the show’s two best musical acts combined? It’s hard to imagine Ron Swanson playing music in a band, but I’d love to see him jamming with Andy. Also, April Ludgate would make a cutthroat manager.

3. Tom’s Bistro does indeed become a chain to rival McDonald’s. (Or perhaps more appropriately, the Olive Garden.)

How satisfying would it be to see one of Tom Haverford’s various failed business models actually lift off the ground for once? And just imagine the swag Tommy boy would buy if he actually had money, as opposed to maxed-out credit cards.

4. Jean Ralphio and Joan Callamezzo commence a co-dependent Mrs. Robinson-style affair.

If you think about it, these two megalomaniacs are kinda perfect for each other. Bonus prediction: an Indianapolis cable access channel picks up the pilot for their romantic reality TV show.

5. Perd Hapley and “Larry” become BFFs.

Something tells me these two are both connoisseurs of life’s (very) simple pleasures. And I’d like to see Mr. Constantly Downtrodden with a friend!

6. Former Councilman Jamm and Tammy 2 commence a monster-style affair.

Then, Ron and Diane have the pleasure of watching these self-destructive loons drive one another crazy-in-love.

7. Leslie and Ben’s triplets—Sebastian, Ann, and J.J.—exhibit advanced intelligence for toddlers.

Go fig, with parents like these.

8. Ben Wyatt’s Cones of Dunshire becomes an in-house learning tool for all of Silicon Valley.

He then takes on full-time, geektastic work as a board-game designer.

9. Donna retires and runs a successful campaign for mayor.

With her can-do attitude and ability to remain calm in a crisis, Donna Meagle might just be the perfect laid-back official the city needs.

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