From Our Readers
January 13, 2015 1:01 pm

It’s finally happening! If there’s anything that excites me about 2015, it would be the big Parks and Rec comeback tonight. Of course, knowing that this new season is also their last can arouse mixed feelings. But, hey! At least we’ll get some closure. Since we share your pain, and we know random quotes and moments from the show play through your head at any given time, we thought we’d homage the terrible-at-times-but-lead-by-a-lovely-lady town of Pawnee and all its members with the making of this wonderful list (which I trust you’ll always keep handy).

“Dude, shut up! That is awesome sauce!” – Andy

When to use: As a reply if you’re being told “I love you,” or if you’re given great news.

Note: Depending on whether or not you actually like that person, it can mean that you love ‘em back, you can use it to buy time (getting ready to actually say I love you!), or you can just use it so you don’t break their heart quite so bad.

“You’re on my Dunzo List.” – Tom

When to use: Boyfriend backed out of marathoning with you, again? Best friend just wouldn’t go with you to that concert? Then tell it to them straight! Personally, I also like saying dunzo every time I finish something (I’ll probably scream it out loud as soon as I finish this list).

“More like, Turd Crapley!” – Ben

When to use: We all remember Ben Wyatt’s (“Human Disaster”) public speaking breakdown. It was hilarious and tough to watch, and it gave birth to one of the best comebacks in history. Use it whenever someone is incessantly getting on your back or being a jerk (e.g., “*insert your mean boss’ name*? More like, Turd Crapley!”).

“I’ve got the free medicine card.” – Andy

When to use: Throw this at your doctor, dentist, or anyone who tries to charge you with anything. If it fails, just remember: dine and dash! (But don’t actually dine and dash.)

“Bazooka!” – Ben & Leslie

When to use: Whether you have an awkward crush on someone and they just happen to love Parks as well, you have a steady ongoing thing with a fellow Parks lover, or you just have a loving best friend: this is to be used as an inner joke between the two of you, as a way of saying, “Darn it! I like you, you nice and cute person!”

“Son, people can see you!” – Ron

When to use: It’s OK to make a fool out of yourself, but it’s also OK to say this to your friend whose bowling technique is a bit questionable.

“Treat yo’ self.” – Donna & Tommy

When to use: Do I even need to explain this? I’ll just trust you’ll know how to use it (like, after you just finished finals/an annoying thing at work, and you just give yourself the right to buy something yummy or slightly expensive and cute).

“It should be a national holiday.” – Leslie

When to use: You may use this out of genuine excitement when talking about something you love doing (and isn’t already a national holiday). However, if you’re more on the sarcastic side, this might come in handy whenever you’re referring to that activity that you absolutely hate doing.

“Bababooey.” – Ben

When to use: Whenever you’re drunk. Whether it is to announce that you are, in fact, drunk, or just to be used as a drunk response to anything. (PS, this is arguably the best episode ever to ever exist in T.V. history.)

“I know what things are.” – Andy

When to use: Throw this at anyone who questions your smarts! Or, if you prefer, use it to show off your smarts.

“Stop. . . pooping.” – Chris

When to use: Whenever you have a bad case of the poopies. Did your stomach go loose after too much snork juice? Someone eat too many tacos? You know what to say.

“That’s a huge oh-no-no!”– Tom

When to use: Whenever necessary, because there are things that are just inadmissible.

“Real piece of work.” – Pawnee Police Department

When to use: Sprout this out on whoever’s being a real piece of work, whether that’s your significant other, your boss, your mom, or your neighbor.

“Your mother’s butt.” – Leslie

When to use: Used as a perfect response to “Ann took a cab, Tom’s in the trunk, Jerry’s on the roof. Alright, where to first?” during the infamous The Fight. You, too, could rock a response like that in any given situation, you don’t even need to be drunk. Mostly, you can use it to answer stuff like “Where did she go?” or “Where’s my pen?” (Very mature, obviously.)

“Dammit, Jerry!” – Everyone

When to use: This was wisely said by, well, everyone, and it just might be the most frequented phrase throughout the series. You can use it anytime someone messes things up. If you’re tough on yourself, then that may mean saying it in front the mirror (upside: you get to reprimand yourself with a hint of humor, which is always way better).

Aimée Rodríguez is a 21-year-old English teacher residing in Monterrey, México. She’s obsessed with 90s pop culture and is very proud of her ever-growing CD and film collection. In addition to helping her boyfriend out with El Buen Invierno (elbueninvierno.com) and his film projects, she also loves to go for long walks with her furry best friend. She also studies tourism, loves traveling, and enjoys baking. You can usually find her hanging out at museums on free entrance days, checking out music at record stores, or eating yummy stuff at the movies (or anywhere, for that matter).

(Images via, via, via, via, via, via, via, via, via, via, via, via, via, via)

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