Kit Steinkellner
February 15, 2015 9:19 am

Dear Sophie Hunter,

Congratulations! You married everyone’s favorite British crush Benedict Cumberbatch! And on the most-romantic-holiday-of-them-all Valentine’s Day no less! We know you’re awesome because Benedict Cumberbatch said this to People magazine about you:

“She’s just really cool…she’s proud of my work, she’s proud of me, and she loves me. That’s the bottom line, isn’t it? That’s one of the reasons it’s a good fit. It could be a really difficult thing, but she’s just so in command of it.”

Sophie, you sound like the greatest, and we wish you a lifetime of happiness and love. We just have a few small requests, if you wouldn’t mind hearing us out.

1.) Please take care of his cheekbones. Those things should be insured if they’re not already.

2.) Also his piercing eyes. And that swoopy thing his hair does. Just make sure his eyes keep piercing and his hair keeps swooping.

3.) We know you’re a theater director, so all of us theater nerds want to take a field trip to London and see you direct Ben in EVERYTHING.

4.)Also, maybe use your wifey influence to get us, like, 20 more seasons of Sherlock?

5.) Have the best time ever being married!!

Love,

The Cumberb*tches

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