Okay, Olympic athletes. We get it. You are all super-humans with insane god-like abilities. That’s awesome; We love cheering you on while you do crazy feats of strength, and swimming, and sweating, and stuff.
But maybe regular, non-athletic people deserve gold medals, too.
If there was an Olympics made up of only completely mundane activities, these should definitely be included:
1. Getting your eyeliner right.
Bonus points if you do a perfect wing on BOTH eyes.
2. Eating healthy.
You know, like competitive eating but with salads and reasonable portions.
3. Paying your bills on time.
Because crunching all those numbers makes you a champion mathelete.
4. Returning all the texts.
Uh, it requires hand-eye coordination. And, let’s face it, some bravery if you have phone anxiety.
“The Olympics are already full of exercise,” you might say. Well, what about Zumba? Or taking a PokémonGo walk? Or just watching a workout video on YouTube but never actually doing any of the moves? These activities should all qualify you for a medal.
6. Driving to work.
It’s a daily race, and you deserve recognition for crossing that finish line.
Your equipment is Netflix, your uniform is sweatpants, and your team members are Frank Underwood, Jessica Jones, and Eleven.