For a generation of girls growing up without sisters, or the funds to bankroll international hijinks, the Olsen twins line of straight-to-video movies provided a glimpse into a fantasy life. Roughly 89 minutes was all it took to transport me from my boring Connecticut suburb, to the cobblestone streets of London or the Bahamian beaches of Atlantis Resort on Paradise Island.
With the Olsen twins as my tour guides, I could see the world and, more importantly, fall in love. In the twins’ world, of holidays and city-escapes boys abound. And according to the gospel of MK & A, foreign boys are always down to throw you on the back of their Vespa and ride around the city until the ultra-perfect montage ends.
But if you think these movies lose value after you get your first kiss, you’re thinking about them all wrong. Within each movie, there are life lessons that apply to teens and adults alike. What better day to honor these Olsen pearls of wisdom than today, the birthday of the Full House Lifetime movie: The Unauthorized Full House Story. (BTW there are tons of lessons Full House taught us, but we’re focusing on non-Michelle Tanner lessons today.)
Put these lessons in your back pocket the next time you set out on your adventure. The Olsen twins: So wise.
Speak your truth (Our Lips Are Sealed)
Lip sealing is exactly what doesn’t’ happen in Our Lips Are Sealed. This is the movie where the twins are put in the Witness Protection Program and relocated after accidentally walking in on a crime. But unable to keep quiet for long, the twins must be continually relocated to cities across America, until finally they wind up at the end of the line in Australia. Though their indiscretion likely caused the United States government millions of dollars, the twins understand that life is too short to keep insane stories bottled up. If you catch someone stealing jewels and then have to hide your identity, girl, you better be talking to Ira Glass about that.
Follow your heart (Winning London)
There would be no Winning London if it weren’t for love. Love is what compels one-half of the Olsen twins to join her school’s Model UN team, (despite her complete lack of interest in world politics,) to get closer to her crush, a dude named Brian. Once in London, the other twin-half falls for a handsome Brit, the secret son of a British noble. And if you, like me, have still never been to England, it’s perfectly acceptable to believe this could and will happen when you visit. Step into any pub, and any hot guy you meet (which is all of them) is hiding a secret that will result in you becoming a princess.
Always make the best out of a bad situation (Holiday in the Sun)
The 2001 Olsen classic, Holiday in the Sun, opens with a dilemma: The twins are told they can’t go to Hawaii over winter break to hang out with their friends. Instead, because parents just don’t understand, the girls are forced to take a family vacation to Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas. Luckily, the twins bounce back quickly to overcome the trauma of switching one exotic, baller destination for another. They ditch their parents long enough to start beef with a young Megan Fox, and ultimately win the affection of a resort staff hottie. They also get wrapped up in an artifact smuggling scheme. Best winter break ever!
It’s not about the destination (Getting There)
Life’s not about the destination, it’s about the bold fashion choices you make along the way. The Olsen twins are known for their cutting edge mall fashion, but In Getting There, they raise the bar to a whole new floppy hatted level. After turning 16, the twins cruise out of town in a sweet Mustang convertible headed for the Winter Olympic Games in Salt Lake City, Utah. Along the way, they experience setbacks in low-rise corduroys and victories in patchwork newsboy caps. At one point one of the twins, doesn’t matter which, is wearing a pulled down, faded Yankees ball cap, over her flat-ironed hair. The coolness of the look haunts me and at 28, I am still attempting to achieve sporty-girl greatness.
Thank you sisters Olsen, for filling our lives with so much wisdom and light. And fashion.