Rachel Paige
Updated July 14, 2015 10:31 am

Ron Swanson once proclaimed that frozen yogurt is “the celery of desserts, be ice cream or be nothing,” so it’s fitting that he’s now the guy to introduce us to our new favorite farm-grown food: pizza. Yes, pizza. Juicy, ripe pizzas growing on trees. Let’s take a trip to a magical pizza farm, shall we?

OK, so this pizza farm is really just a Funny or Die video, but it is a very good Funny or Die video. The folks over there have enlisted Nick Offerman to introduce us to the next wave of farming, which includes pizza trees and taquitos orchards. Because nothing is healthier than fresh pizza “kissed by the sun” that’s been harvested “straight from Mother Earth.” These foods are practically vegetables.

The crops on this magnificent farm are watered with cola, and then delivered straight to school lunches all across the country — or, at least in our dreams they are. It’s all just a very well though out play on the push for healthier food on our tables, and that’s something we’re totally behind. However, the idea of pizza straight off the vine is just TOO GOOD to pass up. And besides, as Offerman reminds us, “if it’s on a plant, it’s good for you.”

(Image via Funny or Die)