Elizabeth Entenman
December 09, 2015 7:56 am

Christmas confession: I’m a Vince Vaughn kind of girl. I can’t help it—his fast-talking banter gets me every time and makes me weak in the knees. I love all Vince Vaughn movies. Especially Vince Vaughn Christmas movies, and especially the feel-good Fred Claus. What’s not to love about Paul Giamatti in a Santa suit and some classic Vince Vaughn sass?

The entire month of December is one giant Christmas movie marathon, and Fred Claus recently had its turn. Though this time through, I noticed some things I’d never seen before. Maybe it’s the internet’s recent trend in discovering hidden movie meanings, or dreaming up theories about the plot and cast. Whatever it was, I couldn’t ignore these, and had to share them with you. You may never look at Fred Claus the same!

Fred hates Christmas, but still dares to step foot in Starbucks.

Red cup scandal aside, Starbucks is arguably the most Christmas-y place on earth this time of year. There’s holiday-themed drinks, Christmas music and coffee-themed stocking stuffers galore. Why put himself through that? (Answer: for a girl. It’s always for a girl.)

Santa vs Buddha, round one.

Early in the movie, when Fred is talking to Slim and goes on a tirade against Christmas, he mentions that Santa statues are better-selling than Buddha statues. But! When we cut to Wanda at her less-than-romantic birthday dinner at Bonzai Palace, there are tiny Buddha statues on her table.

Annette has excellent taste in books.

When we first meet Mrs. Claus, she’s reading a book called Gingerbread for Dummies. Is this a real book in the For Dummies series? If so, why don’t I own it?

Mr. Northcut’s last name basically foreshadows potential death to the North Pole.

Frank Underwood–I mean, Clyde Northcut—is here to cut the North Pole down. It says so in his name. How did I never notice that before? In one scene—when he joins the Claus Family for dinner—he’s even framed to look like the devil, flanked by two red candles resembling horns.

Wanda has all of her chill, and it’s a little weird.

When Wanda shows up to Fred’s intervention AT THE NORTH POLE, she doesn’t seem surprised that Fred’s brother is Santa. Like, a few days ago she was making a big deal out of Fred not telling her he had a brother, and now she’s just hanging with his entire family AT THE NORTH POLE like it’s no big deal. And she’s STILL mad at him. I would at least hear Fred out, on account of being a little intrigued about the whole potential-to-marry-into-Santa-Claus’s-Family thing.

Fred does not understand the concept of not wearing leather in the snow.

Respect the fabric, bro.

The toy delivery timeline makes zero sense.

Willy says they have 10 hours to deliver all of the presents. What about sunrises and time zones? I’m not great at math, but I’m pretty sure you have dozens of hours to deliver those baseball bats and hula hoops. Also, I get what you were going for, but you can’t just show a montage of cities around the world and have it be nighttime everywhere.

The lanterns in Frosty’s Tavern look like birdhouses.

Shoutout to Santa’s ongoing guilt about destroying Chirp Chirp’s home.

Related:

Everything you never noticed about “Christmas Vacation”

(Featured images via Warner Bros/screengrabs)

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