The “Bad Bitch” Paradox
Living in the Midwest is not ideal right now. I’m under the constant threat of impending snow doom and temperatures dropping to Ice Age levels… even in April. It’s made staying inside not only desirable, but leaving the house almost entirely impossible. This has given me ample time to think and inevitably scroll through my Twitter deciding if what I put out there on the Interweird was actually funny or if it has lost all its zest.
When I was scrolling through, I discovered a tweet from the fantastic English duo Rizzle Kicks on October 4th. (Again, I have ample time on my hands and one can only watch so much Bravo before I start to get upset that my Housewives tagline isn’t right.) I have no idea as to which member it was, whether it had been Jordan or Harley, but he had gone on a bit of a rant about Miley Cyrus and her being over-sexualized. What I had gone on to retweet was something that I have given serious thought to recently.
This is an excellent point to make. I not only think that both terms are entirely condescending, but totally derogatory as well. In terms of the “good girl” idea, it seems that with songs like the vile ‘Blurred Lines’, “good girls” are just meant to be compliant and do as they’re told. They bat their lashes when a guy hits on them at the bar and agrees to go home with him at the end of the night because that’s what the guy wants. Already, this idea is flawed. To have to bend to the will of a woman simply because that’s what the man wants and to have a term that goes with it irks me beyond belief. How does that even determine what a good girl even is? I wasn’t aware that whether I was good or bad depended on what anyone else thought of me in the first place. It also shouldn’t depend on whether or not I go home with a guy at the end of the night. If you’ve got a ponytail and a Slipknot t-shirt on, you can buy me all the drinks you want. That still doesn’t mean you’re taking me home. Then again, that thinking could deem me a bad bitch.
The term bad bitch upsets me more than good girl does. Why? Well, the reason is simple: if a man says and does what he wants, he’s a man or, even worse, THE man. He can sexualize women, eat a steak instead of a salad, skip the gym and make fat cash without anyone calling him anything other than a man. However, if a woman wakes up every morning, refuses to take sh*t from anybody and is determined to do what she needs to do to get to where she needs to be, she’s automatically deemed a bad bitch. Okay, now hold on. How does that work? Because a woman wants to be successful and reach her goals, she’s a bitch? Because she slips into a pair of heels instead of a pair of loafers and takes over a boardroom, she’s “bad”? I don’t think so. I think that a woman should be able to be driven and determined without necessitating a derogatory term. If she wants to get a full order of pasta instead of the half, she can. If she wants to go to the gym because she wants to look good for herself instead of a man, she should be able to without question. If she wants to put a man in his place for inappropriately speaking to her or grabbing her ass at a bar, she should be considered a woman, not a bitch. Most importantly, this isn’t Oz, guys. Your shoes don’t determine if you’re a good girl or a bad bitch. Kitten heels don’t equate to cat ladies and spikes don’t equate to a freak in the sheets.
Whichever member of Rizzle Kicks proposed this truth is right. We do need to get rid of these terms, Jordan or Harley. They’re tasteless and crude. Men don’t suffer the same attitude when exhibiting the same behavior and neither should we. Does anyone call Beyoncé a bad bitch because she strives to be the best that she can be and doesn’t give a damn about what anyone else says? Does she let people tell her to tone down her sexuality or cut back on her work ethic? No, we admire her for her determination and her strength. We don’t call her a bad bitch; we simply call her Beyoncé (or Queen Bey, if you’re feeling regal). We as women know that her attitude is revered for all the right reasons. She takes risks and proves that men shouldn’t be able to determine whether we’re good girls or bad bitches. She has the pride in her strength, determination and sex appeal that we should all have. If men want to call a strong, driven woman anything, drop the bad bitch talk. Just call me Beyoncé.
Megan is a writing major at Purdue University. She believes in solo dance parties, the problem solving prowess of cupcakes, binge watching any and all television and Jennifer Lawrence told her she was really funny once at Comic-Con. If you need her, she’s probably working on her future novel and she’s probably not wearing pants. You can find her on twitter at @MissMeganMann.