Rachel Paige
December 18, 2017 4:14 pm

In today’s edition of You’ve Got To Be Kidding me, for some reason, a few Star Wars fans have created a petition to remake The Last Jedi. Not remake any of the prequels. Not even remake the Star Wars Christmas Special and modernize it for Netflix or something. But, rather, they want to remake The Last Jedi. A movie that has been in theaters for literally four days, and has grossed $220+ million dollars in four days. Remake that.

As you’ve probably seen on the internet somewhere, not everyone was, shall we say, thrilled with The Last Jedi. Okay, you know what, it makes sense. Not everyone was thrilled with Justice League earlier this year, and people certainly had qualms about movies like Cars 3, and remember Transformers: The Last Knight? All those movies weren’t exactly welcomed into theaters with open arms, but you don’t see anyone petitioning to remake them.

However, Star Wars, yes. You see, many diehard Star Wars fans are, shall we say, upset with the way Luke was portrayed in the movie. Because, as you know since you’ve seen it, the Jedi Master is painted as a cranky old man on a remote island who steps up to save the day at the very end, and who then disappears to be one with the Force, literally. Because Luke “dies” at the very end, but if you’re one with the Force you can never really “die,” as we saw Master Yoda come back once again.

But I guess that story isn’t good enough? The petition — titled, Have Disney strike Star Wars Episode VIII from the official canon — is asking Disney to literally rewrite, and remake, the movie for the sake of Luke. As it reads:

“Episode VIII was a travesty. It completely destroyed the legacy of Luke Skywalker and the Jedi. It destroyed the very reasons most of us, as fans, liked Star Wars. This can be fixed. Just as you wiped out 30 years of stories, we ask you to wipe out one more, the Last Jedi. Remove it from canon, push back Episode IX and re-make Episode VIII properly to redeem Luke Skywalker’s legacy, integrity, and character.”

The “30 years of stories” the petition is talking about is the Expanded Universe, which is no longer considered canon. When Disney bought Lucasfilm, they essentially erased the stories established there to be able to make new ones for film. And I, myself, read like half of these stories and sure, I’m upset that characters I knew in the Expanded Universe aren’t in this new trilogy, but you don’t see me starting a petition for Jacen and Jaina Solo, DO YOU?

No, you don’t, because I really liked Last Jedi. The folks behind this petition, not so much. It ends with a plea: “We stuck by you when you did things that hurt us before, so we ask you now, please don’t let this film stand. Don’t do this to us. Don’t take something so many of us loved so much and destroy it like this. Let us keep our heroes.”

This petition is, of course, talking about keeping Luke alive for the final film and not replacing him with the likes of burgeoning Jedi heroine Rey. IDK about you, but this petition reeks of cough*sexism*cough, and not that I quickly glanced through the names on the list, but 98% of them are dudes. So…do what you want with that information.

The bottom line is that there is literally zero chance Disney is remaking The Last Jedi, and there is double zero chance they’re going to forget The Last Jedi exists. Luke is gone, he is no longer our hero. Rey is here, she is our new hero. Just like Kylo Ren, it’s so crazy that these fans feel threatened by a woman kicking First Order ass.

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