Rachel Paige
December 05, 2017 12:48 pm

You’d think after four movies, everyone would realize that going to Isla Nublar is a bad idea, no matter WHAT the situation. It’s like a terrifying circle of life — you go to Isla Nublar, you come face to face with dinosaurs, and then you have to outrun and outsmart the dinosaurs, and in the very end you’re saved by like a helicopter and somehow escape with your life. And no, that is not changing for movie number five. With Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, it looks like that same scenario is happening again.

Except that this time…the dinosaurs are also trying to get off Isla Nublar. I’m sorry, has no one else seen The Lost World: Jurassic Park? Don’t you all remember what happened last time? Someone better get Bryce Dallas Howard’s Claire Dearing on the phone and let her know, because she’s looking to get the dinos off the island, even though this is a very bad, bad idea. Have we learned nothing?

Ahead of Jurassic World’s first trailer (which will drop Thursday), Howard talked to Entertainment Weekly about the upcoming movie, and let slip that a few years after the end of the first Jurassic World, she’s off the island and working with like, the ASPCA for dinosaurs — or as she calls it, the Dinosaur Protection Group.

But why is Claire trying to save these dinos, let alone get them off the island? Because there’s a volcano on the island. Oh, and it’s erupting, and threatening the lives of all the dinosaurs left behind when the park closed. Of course. Of course there’s a volcano. Why wouldn’t there be a volcano, on the verge of erupting, on Isla Nublar? This also makes so much sense, considering the first teaser for the trailer: It shows everyone running away from an erupting volcano.

And is Chris Pratt’s Owen Grady in on all of this? Howard doesn’t say, but she does suggest that it’s been some time since the two last saw each other, which means they aren’t sticking together “for survival.” 

TBH, we’re not sure what to expect when the combination of dinos + volcano + Jeff Goldblum reprising his role as Dr. Ian Malcolm, but so help me, someone keep Jeff away from the volcano. Please.

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