Gabriela Herstik
February 16, 2017 1:05 pm
Gareth Cattermole/Getty

We don’t condone kink shaming, but we have to admit we are a little bit confused as to why Fifty Shades Darker theaters have been swamped with cucumbers. Yes, really. The Hayden Orpheum theatre in Sydney, Australia encountered this very peculiar vegetable problem after a screening of Fifty Shades Darker. The theatre’s Deputy Manager found the vegetable on the floor after the movie, but what we’re really concerned about is the fact that he picked it up barehanded. After all, there’s only one thing we think of when we see lone vegetables at an erotic movie screening, and it doesn’t including eating them.

The weirdest part is that this isn’t an isolated incident. There were multiple reports of lone vegetables in different movie theaters, like one in Ledes. And after the first installment of Fifty Shades of Grey, snapchats were posted to Tumblr of the same cucumber situation!

Like, yes really! We understand the need to feel good, but there are other, less obvious ways of doing it that definitely don’t require vegetables! Also, whoever brought these cucumbers should have at least taken them with when they left! Which makes us wonder, was this just a really good, bad joke?

Either way, if we see a cucumber on the floor of a movie theater, we won’t be touching it. We especially won’t be touching it if it’s on the floor after Fifty Shades Darker. 

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