Sammy Nickalls
December 28, 2015 7:24 am

When Christmas Day is all done, and you’ve got some downtime to just relax, what do you do? Calculate how much money it would cost to rescue all of Matt Damon’s characters, OBVIOUSLY.

Quora user Kynan Eng realized that Matt Damon has to be retrieved from a heck of a lot of far away places. Saving Private Ryan, Interstellar, The Martian. . . the list goes on and on. And it would have to cost a ton of money to get that pesky runaway Matt, especially when he’s in space.

TBH, that’s a question we all wanted the answer to, even if we didn’t know we wanted it before. So how did he calculate this? Kynan decided to list out the actual movie budgets, then list out his own estimates for how much it would cost in 2015 currency. Turns out that Matt Damon is the ultimate damsel in distress, because it would cost a whopping $900 billion to bring him home, total — while the movie budgets added up to $729 million, or 0.1% of the rescuing costs. GOD, MATT, JUST COME HOME ON YOUR OWN ALREADY.

Here’s the math, via Eng:

Matt, we’re done saving you. We’re putting those billions of dollars towards the national debt. Oh, and you better do a lot of saving as Jason Bourne next year.

(Image via Twitter.)