Madonna fans rejoice! Our queen is going on a world tour yet again! Start saving your dollars, because on Monday, the woman herself took to Instagram to announce that she’ll be taking her show on the road — probably sans cape, if I had to guess.
The Rebel Heart Tour will kick off in Miami on August 29 in conjunction with her Rebel Heart album, which is set to be released in full next week. So far, 35 cities have been announced, but knowing Madonna (which I don’t, but I pretend to), more cities could def be added. So don’t cry (for me Argentina) if your city isn’t on her schedule yet, it’s possible she’ll pay you a visit (well technically you’ll pay her, but you get it). You can see the current tour schedule, ticket pre-sale dates and regular sale dates here.
Just to get real with you, I love Madonna. I’ll spare you the details of my very real Madonna obsession that started when I was a young child and has continued passionately until this current moment and beyond. I wouldn’t say I’m Madonna’s #1 fan, because there are at least 1 million of us, but I will say this: you guys, if you’ve never seen Madonna perform live, you must. It truly is a spectacular theatrical event. Kind of like the feeling you get when you eat the most delicious dessert you’ve ever had in your entire life, but BETTER. Way better.
In light of this fantastic pending tour news, it only makes sense to take a look back at Madonna’s epic (and I mean that word literally) world tours. All nine of them. Let’s start from the beginning and work our way to now.
The Virgin Tour — 1985
1985 — The year everyone dressed like Madonna, wanted to be friends with Madonna and straight up wanted to BE Madonna. She encouraged people to express themselves through their clothes (specifically lace gloves, cross necklaces, hair scrunchies and crop tops). The Virgin Tour was Madonna’s first major live show, and her sold-out performance at Radio City Music Hall in NYC made history by selling a record-breaking 19,000 tickets in 35 minutes. Not a bad start to her touring career. You can watch the show in full here. Also: Outfits.
Who’s That Girl Tour — 1987
By this point, everyone knew who that girl was. If you didn’t, you were living alone in the Arctic ice plains. On this tour, Madonna’s Madison Square Garden performance raised over $400,000 for the American Foundation for AIDS Research, making her one of the first celebrities to hold a major fundraising event in the fight against AIDS.
Want to see the show? Of course you do! Check it out here.
Blond Ambition Tour — 1990
For those of us who were still too young to go to a Madonna show, thanks to Madonna’s controversial and incredibly brilliant documentary Truth or Dare (which followed the tour), it felt like we were there. That documentary sealed the Madonna deal for me. Not only did she make super fun music, she was also bossy, hilarious, badass and absolutely did not care what anyone thought of her. She was almost arrested after a performance in Toronto for refusing to alter her show to make it less obscene and more “acceptable.” Here’s the statement Madonna made in response to that ridiculousness, which made many people love her even more:
If you missed it in 1990 or want a refresher, you can watch the entire Blond Ambition show here. Maybe stretch first, because I promise you’re gonna wanna dance.
The Girlie Show Tour — 1993
People were really excited to see what Madonna would do after her wildly popular Blond Ambition Tour. The Girlie Show was a blend of circus, magic, and cabaret. Per usual, Madonna definitely didn’t fail to deliver. You can watch the show in its entirety here. Also, shout out to my original Madonna-themed AOL screen name Girlie6815.
Drowned World Tour — 2001
Madonna took an eight-year break from touring, which everyone was ok with, because she was busy winning a Golden Globe for her role in Evita, getting married, having kids and releasing two highly-successful (duh) albums — Ray of Light and Music. Here’s the whole show.
Re-Invention Tour — 2004
The queen of reinvention reinvented again. Once more, Madonna put on one of the most high-energy shows in the history of shows. She’s a machine. A really toned and muscular machine. Check out her endless energy here.
The Confessions Tour — 2006
Here’s a behind the scenes look at the Confessions Tour, just to prove that Madonna is in fact a human who has to practice things. I’m tired just from watching.
Sticky and Sweet Tour — 2008/2009
No one puts on a show like Madonna. Actually, no one does anything like Madonna. But by this point you already know that. The Sticky and Sweet Tour was no exception.
The MDNA Tour – 2012
This tour was a family affair. Madonna’s son Rocco danced (like a boss) and her daughter Lola helped out in the wardrobe department (she also started Macy’s Material Girl clothing line with her mom). Here’s a peek at the show.
Let the countdown for the Rebel Heart Tour begin! If you happen to get extra tickets, and want to give me a couple, I won’t be mad about it. Or whatever.