Caroline Gerdes
May 09, 2015 8:33 am

It’s been a couple of months since Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt aired on Netflix. If you’re like me, you watched every single episode in one weekend, while eating two boxes of Girl Scout cookies — maybe the second part was just me.

Itching for my Kimmy fix, I may have rewatched a couple of episodes a second — or third — time. During this period, I have also started 30 Rock again, for probably the 168th time. While both of these Robert Carlock and Tina Fey joints are equally intelligent and hilarious, it is easy to compare and contrast the leading ladies.

While Liz was raised with everything in a privileged East Coast suburb, she can have a pretty realistic, bordering on pessimistic, world view. Kimmy comes from nothing. Literally. She lived underground with a cult and just had one ill-fated backpack to show for it. With a tragedy behind her, Kimmy has a childlike optimism. We’re also catching Kimmy at the beginning of her career, love life and as a newbie in New York. When we met Liz, she was a powerful network boss lady, with a littered past of lovers (sort of, I mean there was Conan and Dennis Duffy) and she was already a little jaded by the big city.

They may seem like they’re on opposite ends of the spectrum, but they actually share similar world-views (thanks to Tina Fey’s brain.) Here are some really great—and comparable—quotes from Liz and Kimmy that prove they’re not so different after all.

They both know what they want out of love

Liz: “I’ll tell you what I do want. I want someone who will be monogamous, and nice to his mother. And I want someone who likes musicals but knows to just shut his mouth when I’m watching Lost. And I want someone who thinks being really into cars is lame and strip clubs are gross. I want someone who will actually empty the dishwasher instead of just taking forks out as needed, like I do. I want someone with clean hands and feet and beefy forearms like a damn Disney prince. And I want him to genuinely like me, even when I’m old. And that’s what I want.”

Kimmy: “We are going to pay the rent, I’m gonna get my job back, and I’m going to kiss a boy. And you are going to sing at the Grammys with Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson.”

Their take on life (or maybe death) is equally straightforward

Liz: “What’s the point, Jack? I’m done. I took the money I was saving for my honeymoon and I bought a cemetery plot.”

Kimmy: “Age doesn’t matter. You can die at any time.”

They both enjoy a slightly bizzaro pep talk

Liz: “One of my New Year’s resolutions is to say ‘yes!’ Yes to love, yes to life, yes to staying in more!”

Kimmy: “We’re different, we’re the strong ones, and you can’t break us!”

They don’t hold back how they really feel

Liz: “This place can eat my poo.”

Kimmy: “2090 called. You’re dead. And you wasted your time on Earth.”

Their beliefs are dramatically specific

Liz: “Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.”

Kimmy: “I still believe the world is good. That bunnies are nice and snakes are mean. That one day Sandra Bullock will find someone who deserves her.”

They put a lot of stock in their own names

Liz: “Great news Jack. I’ve got a new life philosophy that I call Lizbeanism … Well, I’m Liz, and obviously my philosophy is simple like a bean.”

Kimmy: “Smile until you feel better. I call it Kimmying!”

Neither are exactly smooth when it comes to sex

Liz: “Really? But I already have a drink. Do you think he’d buy me mozzarella sticks?” 

Kimmy: “It’s a photo of a man’s penis. I read that people text them to each other.”

They’re all about the girl power

Liz: “I support women. I’m like a human bra.” 

Kimmy: “But I survived because that’s what women do.”

Featured image via Slate

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