jessica tholmer
September 02, 2014 11:00 am

Okay sure, we all love our real moms just fine, but if we had to magically transport ourselves to television-land, we know who we’d want to raise us. With fall TV premieres on the horizon, we are so ready to reunite with our new TV moms, but we’re also really thankful for those moms throughout TV history who taught us some very important lessons in the past.

EINTKILF TV MOMS

1. Love the ones you’re with.

Marge Simpson – The Simpsons

Of course Marge taught us this. She is certainly stuck in a home with a bunch of frustrating, lovable weirdos all of the time. For like. . . almost 30 years now.

2. Laughter is the best medicine. 

Kitty Forman – That ’70s Show

Especially when your laugh is the absolute best.

3. Raising your voice is sometimes very necessary.

Lois Wilkerson – Malcolm in the Middle

When Malcolm in the Middle first premiered, my brothers and I could not get over how much Lois reminded us of our mother. Because, though she is an inherently nice human, my mom sure can raise her voice.

4. You don’t have to be blood to be family.

Rebecca Donaldson – Full House

The wonderful family of the good ol’ Full House was constantly teaching each other lessons. WHICH IS WHY THAT SPINOFF BETTER BE REAL. Oh, and in Becky’s case, your kids don’t always have to be biological. She certainly played a huge role in the upbringing of the Tanner ladies, even before Nicky and Alex were born.

5. Always be honest.

Roseanne – Roseanne

I am going to go out on a limb here and say that Roseanne was probably the most realistic television mom in history, at least in my experience. My family was much more Roseanne-like than anything else and it is still refreshing to see such a character in syndication.

6. Be proud.

Vivian Banks – The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Of course Vivian Banks has a lot of wonderful traits, and of course The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air has a million awesome lessons, and of course the show is super hilarious, but one of Viv’s best lessons? Be proud, be true, know yourself.

7. Daughters can be best friends.

Lorelai Gilmore – Gilmore Girls

Befriend your children. I don’t know many mother/daughter combos that do not strive to be like Rory and Lorelai. My mother and I are nothing like them, though I consider her a friend almost all of the time. Thanks, old age!

8. Accept your children as they are.

Judy Geller – Friends

This is one of those lessons we learned from watching what NOT to do. Don’t nit-pick your children. And don’t push them to find a husband and have kids. And don’t obviously favor your son over your daughter. Aww, whatever. Judy is still the best.

9. Sometimes, you can say no.

Claire Dunphy – Modern Family

In the famous words of Claire Dunphy, “I say ‘no’ everyday.” I am not a mother, but I can already assume that I am going to have a hard time saying no to stuff because I already have a hard time saying no to stuff that people need me to do for them. Though I am no Claire, I certainly admire her steadfast behavior.

10. Peace and love make the world go round.

Elyse Keaton – Family Ties

Peace and love are everything, according to the Keaton family. Though Alex P. was a super-conservative young man, there was still always an air of relaxation in the home. Thanks to Elyse, and of course, Papa Keaton, the family kept the ’60s spirit alive.

. . .I will use any excuse to represent Michael J. Fox.

11. Don’t smile when you’re being punished.

Lisa Landry – Sister, Sister

In season 5, when Tia is caught with a boy she was forbidden to see, Lisa lays down the law and gets pretty upset. But she does allow Tia’s love interest to come over for dinner the following week, prompting Tia’s sudden glee. That’s when Lisa utters the wise words: “Don’t be smiling when we’re punishing you.” Don’t push it. Lesson learned.

Thanks, Mom(s). You raised us right.

(Featured image via, Marge GIF via here, Lois image via here, Aunt Becky image via here, Roseanne image via, Viv GIF via, Lorelai image via, Judy image via, Claire image via, Lisa image via, Tami image via, Carole image via.)

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