Rachel Paige
December 29, 2014 9:28 am

The ’90s were a strange and magical place. It also seems that we could get away with a lot more during the ’90s, because things like Facebook, and Twitter, and SnapChat weren’t around. Can you even imagine trying to bet someone today that you can make anyone into a prom queen in six weeks WITHOUT that going live all over social media? It just can’t happen nowadays.

Looking back at ’90s movies, you’ll find a surplus of crazy bets and little white lies, that without question surface in the end, leading to a dramatic apology and profession of true love. Ah, the simple times. Here’s a look at some of the crazy lies people told in ’90s movies, paraphrased, of course.

She’s All That—”I have nothing to gain from turning you into prom queen.”

Maybe Zack was being sincere when he told Laney that her “eyes are really beautiful.” But mostly everything else comes from the bet he makes with Dean at the beginning of the movie — you know, that he can make any girl into prom queen material with a little tweaking. Cue him trying to cozy up to Laney, who is all sorts of suspicious about his ulterior motives.

Cruel Intentions—”I just want to have a good clean date with you.”

Cruel Intentions lives up to its name and it’s a late ’90s movie chock full of so many lies and double crosses from just about everyone, including sweet Annette. Everything hinges on a bet made between step-siblings Sebastian and Kathryn. Sebastian is determined to seduce the waiting-till-marriage Annette; Kathryn doesn’t think he can do it — and Sebastian’s Jaguar is on the line. Sebastian even tells Annette that he likes her, and simply wants to date her, but she’s already been clued into his playboy ways.

Clueless—”He TOTALLY likes you.”

Since Cher is such a good friend, she takes the “tragically unhip” new girl in school, Tai, under her wing and makes her fabulous. And as much as we love Cher — and it’s basically unanimously that we love Cher — she pushes Tai away from the skateboarding Travis and towards the jerk, Elton. Cher even tells Tai that Elton is totally into her! As if, Cher.

I Know What You Did Last Summer—”We all just had a totally normal summer. Nothing weird happened. Why?”

The biggest lie ever told in a ’90s movie. We didn’t accidentally kill a pedestrian with our car last summer and then try to cover it up. Hello, that’s not something you lie about, ’90s teens.

10 Things I Hate About You—”Nope, no money is at stake in my relationship with you.”

What is it with the ’90s and boys wagering other boys to date girls who are otherwise unapproachable? Whatever, we love 10 Things I Hate About You anyway, even though it does have Heath Ledger’s Patrick taking money from Joey (by way of Cameron, played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt) to date Kat, the older sister of Bianca, who Joey (and Cameron) both have their eye on. Oh, to be young, and in love, in the ’90s. Kat does fall for Patrick, though, but when she learns of the cash transaction involved, she’s furious. However, in the sweetest fashion ever, Patrick takes the money from the wager, and uses it to buy Kat a guitar so she can start a rock band.

Drive Me Crazy—”I’ve been friends with this cool guy, like, forever.”

Nicole and Chase were best friends growing up, thanks to the fact that they were also next door neighbors. Then, they fell out of touch and into relationships with others, who then dumped them right before the big dance (the horror!). Nicole decides to make over Chase, naturally, turning him into the perfect date. Her friends wonder how long the two have actually been friends, and Nicole lies saying that they’ve always been friends.

Romney and Michelle’s High School Reunion—”We invented the Post-it Note.”

Romy and Michelle invented Post-Its. Obviously. I’m actually willing to believe this lie forever.

Mrs. Doubtfire—”I’m an elderly, British, female nanny.”

Maybe the best lie of the ’90s, and the best executed, is the charade Daniel manages to pull off to get close to his family again. Everything about Mrs. Doubtfire is a lie, but it’s a gosh darn sweet lie, considering the lengths Daniel’s willing to go through to be with his kids.

(Images via here, here, here, here, here, here, here)

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