Touchstone; Pamela Avila / HelloGiggles; Nik Merkulov / Getty Images
Jessica Wang
July 31, 2018 10:10 am

In My Beautiful Despair: The Philosophy of Kim Kierkegaardashian, woeful sentiments about life and beauty are gifted upon the masses. Of a nude lip, the elusive Kierkegaardashian writes, “A nude lip is subtle. It asks, Who is this pallad figure, who tried to carry a world but overstrained himself, and broke his soul?” Of skin care, Kierkegaardashian ponders, “Obsessed with protecting your skin, lips, hair & face from the sun? Close the cover of the coffin tight—really tight—and be at peace.” And of summer’s easiest hair trend, Kierkegaardashian gloriously ruminates, “Summer’s easiest hair trend is beach waves. It says: the seas of life are rough and I am drowning.”

From the brilliant mind of Twitter user @KimKierkegaard, My Beautiful Despair combines the musings of Danish existential philosopher Søren Kierkegaard with the thoughts of TV personality Kim Kardashian. Kierkegaardashian’s Twitter garnered a cult-following in 2012 for its transcendent meeting of the minds, featuring amusing Kardashianisms—reflected in its pondering of beauty, fashion, and skin care—coated with a veneer of melancholic Kierkegaardisms. It’s the mashup our generation deserves.

Ahead of the July 31st release of the illuminating My Beautiful DespairI spoke with the elusive Kierkegaardashian (who wishes to remain anonymous). From all things Kanye to the culmination of the Kim Kierkegaardashian persona, continue reading for more of the Twitter philosopher’s forlorn insights.

HelloGiggles (HG): What inspired the creation of @KimKierkegaard?

Kim Kierkegaardashian (KK): It was a bleak night in Milan. I had media appearances early the next morning, but I couldn’t get to sleep because I had this very particular anxiety: profound existential dread, combined with not knowing what shoes to wear the next day. I picked up my phone and started tweeting, and the rest is my very poignant history.

HG: Walk us through your existential beauty routine. What is the best way to conceal under-eye bags and skin ailments that stem from perilous dread?

KK: It depends on the particular issue. Is it overall puffiness? Is it under-eye darkness? Or those sad little pouches that mean you need sleep? Or small wrinkles? There are many kinds of despair, and correspondingly many kinds of despair-related skin ailments. One moisturizer that never fails me that’s really affordable (for those of you who worry about that kind of thing): copious, bitter tears. There are more tips in my book.

HG: What are your despairing thoughts on Kanye’s pro-Trump and slavery rhetoric?

KK: I try to stay hopeful about Kanye because I love him, and love is a profound responsibility. He and I enjoy so many of the same things, like Versailles and shopping. But sometimes he makes me so sad. I wonder if he is capable of knowing anything about the truth.

HG: What research or other pieces of writing inspired My Beautiful Despair?

KK: As with most things I have written, my main inspirations are [Søren Kierkegaard’s] Fear and Trembling, Shakespeare, and back issues of Vogue. I also did a close study of all my selfies—thousands of selfies—because our masks reveal so much. And I spent a lot of time in solitary contemplation—by which of course I mean, on my phone, on Twitter. And then I just went to work.

HG: What was the most complex aspect of penning the book?

KK: I have never worked with an illustrator before, and this was really exciting and different. I hope people spend as much time looking at the illustrations as they do reading the text. The illustrator, Dash Shaw, is a comics artist, graphic novelist, and filmmaker. He brings a twisted, funny, dark, and mysterious quality to the book, which complements the words. I think he made My Beautiful Despair more than twice as beautiful as it would have been without his contribution.

HG: What’s next for Kim Kierkegaardashian?

KK: I am writing a novel and screenplay, working on my makeup line, and just trying to get out of bed every morning. I’m also now on Instagram, because my despair is so great that it requires multiple social media platforms.

My Beautiful Despair: The Philosophy of Kim Kierkegaardashian is now available wherever books are sold.

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