Gina Vaynshteyn
April 29, 2015 5:30 am

Sometimes, you get stressed out. You feel pangs in your chest cavity, pangs that are telling you that you have like twenty more things you still need to do today. You’re exhausted, and you want to simultaneously fall asleep AND stay up and work. Maybe you’ve even tried to meditate —but it’s no use. Your brain is playing connect-the-dots with all the million things you’re thinking about and need to get done. We get it — being stressed out, no matter what it’s about, is emotionally and physically draining.

So, not to stress you out or anything, here are some tell-tale signs that you probably need a little more “me time,” a little breather, and maybe a short vacation away from your brain.

1. You can’t remember the last time you ate a full meal. Like on a plate. Away from your desk. With real, non-plastic utensils. 

Your meals of the day are panic and deep breathing with a side of tension headache, and it’s only until your mom calls and asks if you’ve eaten today do you realize you are famished, FAMISHED. But eating lunch and dinner actually require cooking meals, and cooking meals take up precious, precious time, so you most likely order from Seamless for like the fourth time this week, or heat up a Lean Cuisine. Hey, a human’s gotta do what a human’s gotta do.

2. Either that, or all you do is stress snack.

You’re like a snack-eating machine. If there is something at least mildly crunchy or cheesy nearby, consider it toast. Maybe even literally.

3. Your fridge solely consists of soda, a block of parmesan cheese, and leftover wine. #Winning

You haven’t gone grocery shopping in weeks. It’s kind of a problem.

4. You’re freaking exhausted, but instead of sleeping you just refuel with more coffeecoffeecoffee

You know, you know. It’s not healthy to be consuming THIS MUCH caffeine (which is slowly turning your body into the human equivalent of a shooting star), but it makes you feel like you can take over the world, and those are the kinds of feelings you desperately need right now.

5. But then you can’t sleep when you DO go to bed. Because your brain is like “let’s create to-do lists!”

And no matter how much you try to fight it (“OK self, we’re going to bed and it’s going to be great and you’re going to get so much rest, just think of baby animals right now and count to five-hundred”) you just end up wondering if you sent out that last e-mail with a typo, or if you have enough time to squeeze in the gym (probs not), or just how meaningful your life is and how and why.

6. You probably showered two days ago. Wait. Make that four days ago.

You wonder if people notice and this stresses you out even more.

7. So you start getting really creative with ways to style your hair.

I mean, THANK THE GODS for dry shampoo and scrunchies, amiright?

8. Time simultaneously goes by slowly AND way too fast

Time is so leisure when you don’t want it to be, and non-existent when you’re on a deadline. Oh time, you fickle thing, you.

9. The amount of open tabs you have are NEXT LEVEL

Like my-laptop-might-die next-level. Like you can’t even decipher which tabs are which next-level.

10. You are too scared to check your e-mail

Your top inbox fears: a baby shower invite reminder you still haven’t rsvp’d for, a message from your boss with the subject line “There’s something we need to discuss,” spam from a relative who doesn’t know how to use the Internet, J.Crew cooly letting you know their summer collection is here and no you still cannot afford it, an acquaintance that lives 40 minutes away who wants to meet up for lunch.

11. But then you feel guilty you’re not checking your e-mail

Oh, you cruel, digital world. Can’t live with ya, can’t live without ya!

12. You want to ~treat yourself~ every time you cross something off your to-do list

So maybe you’ll buy one or two things online. They were on sale anyway! Plus —you deserve it! (Buyer’s remorse, commence.)

13. Your social life is maybe not so hoppin’

You don’t remember the last time you saw a creature who was not your cat. And let’s be honest, it’s not like your cat has a whole ‘lotta say about hanging out with YOU (OK —maybe I’m just talking about MY cat).

14. And forget about dat love life

Eh, who needs it?

15. Because when you have a moment to yourself, you are SOAKING. IT. UP

Literally, you are probably soaking it up in your tub with a book. And there is no other place you’d rather be.

Hey, if you ticked off a lot of things on this list, you need that time for yourself. In fact, you need MORE of that time. Don’t feel even a drop of guilt for taking it.

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