Sundi Rose
November 21, 2014 1:13 pm

Friends was one of my earliest and truest loves, and I still pine for the days when they’ll be together again. That might not be such a far-fetched thing to wish for, after all; especially after Jennifer Aniston appeared on The Graham Norton show this week and planted a seed in America’s heart. Tired of being asked the perennial reunion question,  she joked, “ I honestly think we should just wait until we are really much older and have Golden Friends. Then you wouldn’t have the comparison.”

Of course she was being cheeky, but that doesn’t stop my mind from imagining what an octogenarian Friends reunion would actually look like. Aside from them living in Miami and playing cards on the lanai, what would they look like? What would they have done with their lives? What are they doing now? Here’s what I think the cast of Friends would look like if they were reincarnated into popular culture today:

Monica and Chandler after being married so long, would probably BE the couple who looks alike. With matching velour sweatsuits and similarly dyed jet-black hair, they would be the most active and spry of the group. Monica would divide her time between her book and wine club, her bingo outings, and coffee with her friends. She would have giant hair, a ton of jewelry and would somehow have picked up a Staten Island accent. I like to think she would look a little like Mike Myers’ Linda Richman from “Coffee Talk” on Saturday Night Live.

Rachel and Ross, in this future Friends universe, would still be together, although not married. Rachel would look glamorous and oddly young for her age. She would be current and relevant and always look glamorous and perfectly put together. She wouldn’t be afraid to say the F-word, and would make jokes at Ross’ expense often.  She would also make Ross wear a jaunty scarf and argyle socks.

I would very much like to imagine Phoebe and Mike just a smidge bit older, and a whole lot more mellow. Phoebe would paint and sculpt and treat her grandchildren’s stuffy noses with crystals and herbs from her garden. Mike would be grumpy and wry and make everyone laugh at him instead of with him, and wear athletic socks with loafers. If TV is just a series of alternate universes, perhaps Phoebe and Mike were reincarnated as Camille and Zeke from NBC’s Parenthood.

Joey, on the other hand, went the other way. Instead of getting older and wiser, Joey got organized, and joined the mob. Although still not really equipped to the do all the hard work a boss would do, he is definitely close to the action. He would always wear his bowling shirt unbuttoned (to show off his beater), he would never leave the house without a gold chain, and he would probably always count the money wrong. Of course, Joey would be Paulie Walnuts. Can’t you see it?

A girl can dream can’t she? How do you see our beloved Friends looking in 35 years? Did I come close?

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