Gina Vaynshteyn
May 01, 2016 10:30 pm
HBO

There be spoilers ahead — read at your own risk!

The moment we have been waiting for finally, FINALLY happened. You know what moment I’m talking about. But BEFORE we get to that and throw invisible buckets of confetti into the air like we just don’t care, let’s talk about everything that led up to that moment in “Home”, shall we?

First of all, things are getting ugly at Castle Black. The Wildlings have arrived and they are PISSED about their boi Jon Snow being stabbed to death. Am I the only one who wanted to see Olly get GROUNDED for LIFE?

Back in King’s Landing, the High Sparrow has casually warned Jaime, who’s visiting his niece/daughter’s crypt, that the religious zealots Sparrows will basically overthrow the Seven Kingdoms. Or at the very least, King’s Landing. Clearly, this isn’t the last we are to see of the High Sparrow and the “shame” lady and all those dudes in robes with bad forehead tattoos.

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One of the best parts of the Episode 2 is Tyrion releasing Dany’s dragons (along with the yasssss-worthy line from Tyrion, “That’s what I do. I drink and I know things”). Tyrion and Varys visit the remaining two dragons in their dungeon, and right before one of the dragons is about to scorch Tyrion like a s’more, the dragon stops in his tracks like he knows something is up. “I’m a friend of your mother’s,” Tyrion informs the dragon. (And not just friend — but maybe relative? OH SNAP, FAN THEORISTS) Tyrion unchains Dany’s majestic children. Oh, Meereen. Things are about to get CrAzY.

HBO

Back in Winterfell, Ramsay Bolton gets a lecture from his father, Roose Bolton, who is basically like, “Great, you scared your politically influential wife away, and oh my god why did I even trust you! But hey, the good new is that you just got a little brother who will NO DOUBT REPLACE YOU BWAHAHA.” Ramsay is not cool with this, so he obviously stabs his father and then releases his hounds on his newborn (and legitimate) bro and his mom, Lady Walda. COLDER THAN ICE, RAMSAY.

HBO

King Balon Greyjoy’s time on this here frigid earth is also over. Theon’s asshole dad runs into his brother Euron Greyjoy, who promptly murders him. We’ve actually looong been waiting for this death — back in Season 3, Melisandre performs a ritual that would help kill King Joffrey, Robb, and Belon. So, basically? Boy, BYE.

But okay, the moment. The moment the internet has been having a 10-month meltdown over. Jon Snow’s fate. Even though I’m not sure why Ser Davos waited all this time to ask the Red Woman to help resurrect Snow, he finally does, reminding her of her power she seems to be doubting. But she does it — she cleans his wounds, cuts chunks of his pretty black curls, burns them, and recites ~dark magic~ over his handsome dead body. Does Jon Snow’s beautiful eyes a-flutter? Not right away. Not until everyone has let the room.

HBO

And then it happens. Jon Snow opens his eyes. And that noise you’re hearing? Oh, just the sound of the internet imploding.

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