For those of us who were kids in the ’80s and ’90s, some of the most significant life lessons came from the TV families who helped raise us. We knew them better than we knew our own families. Sure, watching so much TV might have rotted our brains a little, but it also provided us with the substantial life lessons we needed to survive our childhood.
Here are some valuable life lessons we learned from our favorite TV shows when we were kids:
Letting your older sister’s weird best friend pierce your ears without your parent’s permission is a really bad idea. There’s absolutely zero chance of them not getting infected. Then you’ll have to cover them up with two Princess Leia buns until you just can’t keep it a secret any longer, and you have to come clean to your dad so he can take you to the doctor and hug you.
Saved By The Bell
If you need help keeping up with your schoolwork and your singing group, don’t take caffeine pills. You will have a mental breakdown and let all your friends down. Then your friend will have to physically restrain you until you realize you don’t need pills to help you succeed. Ultimately, it’ll bring you guys closer together, but still, pills are bad.
When all your friends and foster dad agree to help you build a super awesome tree house, but then bail on you because building a tree house is hard work, use reverse psychology to make them think building a tree house is actually really fun. They’ll help you sew things, interior decorate, make delicious snacks, build a dogevator (dog elevator, obviously) and paint. Tricking your friends probably won’t get you far in life, but it’ll help you get your tree house built and learn teamwork skills.
Moving into a new apartment building where you don’t have any friends is hard. If you happen to meet an old lady who lives alone and loves telling you stories, don’t promise her you’ll come by and then not come by. She might be a ghost who will haunt you for lying until you apologize and explain to her why you didn’t show up. It’s important to honor your commitments and to be nice to old people. The chance of the old person being a ghost is just too risky.
The Fresh Prince of Bel Air
Launching the music career of your little cousin may sound like a really good and lucrative idea, but chances are the success and attention will go to her head. She will probably turn into a mega brat and it will be all your fault. Maybe you both should just enjoy your childhoods and worry about money and fame when you’re old enough to understand the repercussions, okay?
Never be mean to your nerdy neighbor who always hangs around. You never know if he will invent a cloning machine to turn himself into a cooler, more handsome version of himself who you will fall in love with. We live in the 2000s now. Anything’s possible.
Step By Step
Being part of a blended family can be annoying and difficult to get used to, but sometimes it really helps to have an extra adult around when you need one, especially if you only have one parent. When the time comes for you to do embarrassing things like buy your first bra, the last person you want taking you to the mall is your dad. So, going with your stepmom is great because she has boobs and your dad doesn’t (unless he does, which is also fine). He may still show up and embarrass you, but it’s only because he loves you.
Salute Your Shorts
For maximum protection, always wear a thick coat of sunscreen on your nose. Always.
Boy Meets World
Having crimped hair and performing weird hippy dance moves while painting your face with lipstick doesn’t have to hurt your chances at making friends, falling in love and being happy. You just need to be confident in who you are and embrace your uniqueness. Also, it’s possible to find your soulmate in 6th grade. Also, Topanga is a name.
If your dad has his own TV show about tools, but is super clumsy and always makes really bad tooling decisions, hire a professional. It’ll save your family a lot of money, stress and broken things. Also, neighbors should be heard and not seen?
Not wearing a hat is sometimes better than wearing a hat.
It’s possible to have an identical twin sister who you’ve never met, but will one day run into at a big sale at Fashion Fantasy. Also, see above about hats.
Parents should support you whether they agree with the decisions you’re making or not, unless your decision is something that could potentially hurt you; like wearing a purple plaid summer dress to your friend’s birthday party in the fall, when it’s too cold for summer dresses. In which case, listen to your parents so you don’t catch a cold and look ridiculous. A dinosaur sweater is a way more practical option.