Stephanie Hallett
February 16, 2017 12:01 pm

If you’re one of those people who feels badly for the celebs who lose on Oscar night — don’t. Because the swag bag they all receive is off-the-charts, crazy-pants, utterly-bananas packed with consolation prizes, including luxury travel, so each of those award-less nominees will be able to recover from their loss on a relaxing holiday.

According to Distinctive Assets, the company that puts together the “Everyone Wins” nominee gift bag, this year’s swag is worth six figures and will be gifted to nominees in the Best Actor + Actress, Best Supporting Actor + Actress, and Best Director categories.

“At the end of the day, the movie industry is about allowing viewers to escape reality and enter a fantasy world,” said Lash Fary, Distinctive Assets’ founder and creator of the gift bags, in a press release. “We hope we do that in some small way for these hard-working nominees…help them relax, unwind, unplug, and indulge after one of the most intensely hectic weeks of their lives.”

Ready to discover the swag bag’s contents? Here are just a few choice items!

Five-night stay at Koloa Landing Resort at Poipu, Hawaii.

Koloa Landing /

Personally curated wardrobe from Belldini.

CPR Anytime course from the American Heart Association.

64-count Crayola My Way crayons, personalized with the nominee’s name.

Crayola /

Each box will include a “special gold crayon created just for the nominee with his/her name on it.”

Elvie, the pelvic floor exercise tracker.

One-week stay at Golden Door destination spa in Escondido, California.

Three nights at the Grand Hotel Excelsior Vittoria in Sorrento, Italy.

Three nights at the Grand Hotel Tremezzo in Lake Como, Italy.

A 10-year supply of Oxygenetix foundation and moisturizer.

SweetCheeks cellulite massage mats.

Personal in-house sommelier services by NYC sommelier Lelañea Fulton.

With any luck, these nominees will be well-rested, drunk, and cellulite-free for next year’s awards season!