Alim Kheraj
July 11, 2017 7:51 am

Normally we recoil in shock when we learn that people haven’t read Harry Potter. Yet we can totally forgive this one guy who, in an attempt to read the Harry Potter books for the first time, actually took a deep dive into erotic Potter fan fiction.

Now, we know that the Potter franchise is worth billions (literally), which is why it should come as no surprise that there is some rather intense fan interaction with the series. We know for a fact (because we’ve read it), that some of the fan fiction can get pretty explicit, and there’s even a podcast that pays tribute to NSFW Potter smut.

Twitter user Shelley Zhang shared a hilarious interaction she had with her friend Chris Chappell, who seemed to find himself reading a very alternative version of what happened to our favorite wizards and witches Hogwarts.

Not only are there some pretty weird deviations from the plot (aka Dudley killing himself), but it also appears that this bootleg version of The Order of the Phoenix was sexually explicit, too, and involved things like fake rape scenes between Ginny and Draco.

Things continued to get even stranger from there. In Chris’ version of the story, Hermione was sending Harry pictures of herself in a bikini. And, oh, there’s even necrophilia in the story, too.

In fact, Chris shared a rather graphic sex scene with Shelley, which is when the realization that none of this was authentic finally hit.

That’s not to say that the story that Chris was reading totally deviated from the original. Neville’s parents were still sadly tormented by Voldemort and his followers, and Snape’s story is (sort of) the same…

Although there were a lot of things that couldn’t be further from J.K. Rowling’s story.

Chris, however, was pretty optimistic about the whole thing, even if Shelley couldn’t resist trolling him a little bit…

From the sounds of it, Chris has been on one heck of a magical (and erotic) adventure with this fan-written Harry Potter book. Hopefully, if he decides he wants to go back and see what Rowling actually had in store for the characters, he won’t be too disappointed by how things turned out.

Either way, this is probably one of the funniest things that we’ve ever read in our lives, and we’ll treasure it as if it was the golden snitch itself.

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