jessica tholmer
February 17, 2015 12:10 pm

The dark, controversial Fifty Shades of Grey may have killed it at the box office this past weekend, but that doesn’t mean we’ve given up on old-fashioned, kind-hearted romance. In fact, it may be time to pay homage to those fictional couples who actually made us envy their relationship, rather than shudder at the thought of it. In lieu of my weekly EINTKILF, I wrote about my SECOND set of favorite fictional couples. But let’s backtrack: Two years ago, I wrote, “So This is Love,” a round-up of the best ever fictional couples. At the time, people had a lot of feelings, especially because I left off so many of their favorite twosomes. Well guys, I have rectified the situation, but not entirely. Here’s round two of the 10 best fictional couples of all time.

xo

The Best Fictional Couples Evah-Evah-Evah
(still not ranked, cause let’s be real, that’d still be impossible)

1. Zoe and Wash, Firefly

Zoe and Wash. Zoe and Wash. Zoe and Wash. You can ship off every other couple on television, just leave me Zoe and Wash.
Watching Zoe and Wash on Firefly should be considered pre-marital counseling. They are friends and lovers who exist in complete symbiosis. They aren’t completely alike or complete opposites, but rather puzzle pieces who fit each other while still retaining their individuality. Zoe is played by the stunning Gina Torres, who should play every character all of the time and was born to be Wonder Woman. Her beauty and elegance make her a perfect foil for the lovable goofiness of Wash, played by Alan Tudyk. She is a skilled warrior. He is a skilled pilot. They are both equally amazing at their jobs. He loves her strength, intelligence, and talent. She loves his sense of humor, good nature, and talent. THEY ARE PERFECT. They bring out the best in each other, they admire each other, and they are proud of each other. And, even after years of marriage, they still want to rip each others’ clothes off and spend all day in bed. Isn’t that the dream?

“I’m not so afraid of losing something that I won’t try havin’ it. You and I would make one beautiful baby. I want to meet that child one day.”

2. Coach and Tami TaylorFriday Night Lights
The last time I wrote this list, some people were kind of upset that I didn’t include Eric and Tami Taylor. I shrugged it off because I hadn’t watched Friday Night Lights, and now that I have, I am infuriated at myself for not just including them ANYWAY without knowing ANYTHING about them or the show. Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton are incredibly believable as Coach and Tami Taylor. They are more than pretty faces, though let’s be real, their pretty faces help the whole thing. Let me just say, I have never been the type of person to want to get married, but watching Eric and Tami made me want to meet that person and get married and have bratty kids, and man, that’s a powerful fictional relationship. I’ve read that Britton and Chandler were told in the very beginning that Tami and Eric would never break up, and that knowing that helped them play such a strong relationship. Well damn, I wish real life worked that way.

3. Mindy and Danny, The Mindy Project
Though Mindy and Danny are a newer couple, the build-up was always there. Mindy and Danny’s first kiss on an airplane after terrifying turbulence was not only incredibly sexy, but just as funny as we expected. For whatever reason, Danny’s coolness synchronizes perfectly with Mindy’s obsessive un-coolness. The whole thing works, and I hope it keeps working, because a breakup would just make me angry.

“You know you’re right for someone when they force you to be the best version of yourself.”

Also that quote? God, so true.

4. Ben and Leslie, Parks and Rec
What I love most about Ben and Leslie is what I read in Yes, Please by Amy Poehler. Poehler describes the moment she and the rest of the crew, including Mike Schur, found out their show wasn’t even nominated for the Best Comedy Emmy. Poehler writes, “Instead of being upset, Mike said, ‘I am going to go write the scene where Ben proposes to Leslie.’ He went back to his hotel room and wrote this.” Poehler then includes the scene where Ben proposes to Leslie, including the line,” I am deeply, ridiculously in love with you,” and I don’t know why that part of all parts in her book keeps hitting me. I guess there’s something about finding love in a hopeless moment of your life, even if that love is fictional love. Also that line is just killer.

Also, this line: “I love you, and I like you.”

5. Santana and Brittany, Glee
This is the final season of Glee and even if you were not privy to that information, you can tell by watching even three minutes of an episode because everything is wrapping up very nicely. Santana and Brittany are getting married, after a long history of being on-and-off again. What I love about Santana and Brittany is the believab-ility of their relationship. Brittany started off as a hilarious ditz, and Santana started off as a vicious brat, but the two have finally balanced each other out, post-high-school. . .kinda.

“I choose you over everyone.”

6. Dan and Roseanne, Roseanne
For me, 2014 will always be the year I decided to trade going downtown and socializing with staying in and watching Netflix, and yes, I know I am way behind the game on that. When I actually started to use my Netflix account, it was for Friday Night Lights, but I quickly fell back in love with Roseanne, a show I had adored so much when I was a kid. Roseanne is definitely one of those shows that you watch and realize that half of the jokes were over your head as a wee human being. Stuff like, “You are our corny little sex jokes,” a line Roseanne quips back to Darlene, is the gold I missed when I was a kid, because obviously. Something else I missed as a kid was the incredible relationship dynamic between Roseanne and her hilarious husband. My love for John Goodman has only grown over the years, and watching the fantastic chemistry he shares with his television wife makes me love him even more. The way they joke, kiss, and most importantly, fight keeps me in suspended disbelief that these two are not actually married in real life. Dan and Roseanne: True Relationship Goals.

“I was thinking how lucky I am to have you, but now you’re getting on my nerves so shut up!”

7. Glenn and Maggie, The Walking Dead
There is always something romantic about post-apocalyptic love stories, even though if you really break it down, it can just be people picking from the little number of humans left alive. I have never viewed Maggie and Glenn like that, though. Super dorky Glenn gets super babe Maggie to like him even before things seemed as hopeless as they are these days for the crew. Though they started out just randomly sleeping together in a convenience store (or something?), Glenn has been with Maggie through the death of literally all of her family, which kind of skyrockets their relationship onto a whole different level than lots of other fictional love stories.

“I’m with you. I’m always with you. You know?”

8. Turk and Carla, Scrubs
I always feel like Scrubs is a very underrated show, but maybe I am unaware of its popularity. Regardless, the best part of the show, in my opinion, has always been Turk. And Turk is nothing without the wonderful Carla. Carla and Turk get together early on in the show and end up married, though they are not without their problems (drunken kisses, ex-girlfriends). Though I will always love the wonderful dynamic between feisty Carla and goofy Turk, my favorite part of their relationship is the running joke that Turk and J.D. are actually the stronger couple. Donald Faison and Judy Reyes are one of those couples that have such great chemistry, you kind of hope they love each other IRL. (And also Zach Braff and Faison.)

“Every relationship is messed up. What makes it perfect is if you still want to be there when things really suck.”

9. Crosby and Jasmine, Parenthood
Parenthood may be over but the love lives on. I’m still catching up with the show, even though it’s over, but, as of now, Crosby is my favorite character. Why? I love a funny, emotionally vulnerable dude, and Crosby ends up being those things most of the time. The best part about Crosby is Jasmine, though (well, it’s Jabbar, but I mean, he’s a product of those two). Obviously, I love Jasmine. She is strong, self-directed, gorgeous, and sassy. Not to be all whatever, but I kind of like women that remind me of myself and there’s nothing wrong with that!!! Anyway, back to the actual (fake) couple. Jasmine and Crosby reunite when she just shows up to tell him that they have a kid, and he’s 5 years old. Crosby gets to know Jabbar and in that, he also gets to actually know Jasmine and he falls crazy in love with her because who wouldn’t?! After a lot of ups-and-downs (just like all of my real life relationships), the two finally tie the knot, in a very spur of the moment wedding. Where I’m at right now, they are still super in love and work through all of their relationship issues like champs.

“I love you. I’ve always loved you. I never stopped loving you.” 

10. Monica and Richard, Friends
Look
, I’m not a maniac. First of all, I included Monica and Chandler on my previous Best Fictional Couples list, so it isn’t like I hate Chandler and Monica together. I actually like them together a lot, and if Richard never existed, they would be perfect. But that isn’t how life works, even in the fictional world. Tom Selleck and Courtney Cox, in all of their age-difference-glory, had incredible chemistry. For whatever reason, Monica at 26-years-old made sense with Richard, who was basically her dad’s age. As a romantic couple, they worked so well together, that is, until their age difference got in the way. The worst part about a breakup is when the breakup is for the most valid of reasons, so when Monica and Richard split because she wanted to get married and have kids and he didn’t, it was extra heartbreaking. Those kinds of deal-breakers are the real deal, and I would imagine, is one of the main reasons big age differences get tricky. Regardless, Monica ends up pretty well-off with good ol’ Chandler, and at least we’ll always have racquetball.

“I guess we just . . .keep dancing.”

Featured image via, Danny and Mindy GIF via, Ben and Leslie GIF via, Brittany and Santana GIF via, Roseanne and Dan GIF via, Crosby and Jasmine image via, Glen and Maggie GIF via, Turk and JD and Carla GIF via, Richard and Monica GIF via.

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