Andrea Greb
May 30, 2014 1:50 pm

If you haven’t noticed, wedding season is in full swing. Everywhere you look, picturesque places in your town are being swarmed by bridal parties and photographers. You’ve probably got a few invitations stuck to your fridge. In the best of cases, weddings are a wonderful time when you get to celebrate two people you adore choosing to spend the rest of their lives together. At other times, weddings are a time when you have to suppress a grimace while someone you care deeply about chooses to commit themselves to someone you’re less than psyched about.

In the latter case, it can be tough to get excited about going to the wedding. However awesome the party might be, you’re still not excited about what it’s celebrating. This isn’t your day, though, it’s your friend’s, so it’s your duty to get out there and have a good time anyway. Here are my suggestions for how to do that:

Above all, show up. If you were invited to the wedding and there’s not a scheduling conflict or a financial reason you can’t afford to go, then go. Even if you don’t like the choice this person is making, they chose to include you in this day, and it’s your duty as a friend to go. There’s also a very real chance you’re wrong, your friend’s spouse-to-be is actually great, and you don’t want to miss out on being a part of this special day in their lives.

Do not, under any circumstances, stand up during the “Speak now or forever hold your peace” part of the ceremony. This looks incredibly cool and dramatic in movies. I’m not sure they actually even say this in real ceremonies, and even if they do, actually saying something is going to ruin this person’s day and make you look like an idiot. If you really feel compelled to say something, the time is right after your friend gets engaged, and even then, I recommend using extreme caution if you do so. This is someone else’s life, not yours, and this isn’t your decision to make. Unless you think your friend is actually in an abusive relationship or you know for a fact the fiance has a Terrible Secret (and I don’t mean he collects Beanie Babies, I mean that he actually cooks meth or is the reason behind his ex-girlfriend’s mysterious “disappearance”), there are very few circumstances in which I’d suggest trying to intervene.

Buy a fantastic outfit for the wedding. At the end of the day, this is a party, and you should enjoy it! It’ll probably help if you have an awesome dress you’re really looking forward to wearing.

Have a drink. Do not get drunk. Like I said, it’s a party. Have a drink. If you’re not driving for awhile, have two. Do not keep waving over the waiter who keeps magically refilling your wine glass every time you take a sip. You don’t want to be the sloppy guest, and you really don’t want to be the one who blurts out their real feelings about the wedding to the stranger sitting next to you who it turns out is very good friends with the groom.

Try to actually have a good time. It’s all about the attitude. If you go into this thinking “Ugh, I can’t believe they’re actually getting married and I have to celebrate it,” of course you’re going to have a terrible time. If you go with an open mind and willing to have fun, you might be pleasantly surprised. Your friend has spent a ton of time and money planning this event and chose to include you in it, so do your best to actually enjoy it.

Image via EW

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