Everything I need to know, I learned from the best 'Friends' Thanksgiving episode ever
Everyone knows that Friends rules Thanksgiving, and maybe I have sort of written about it before, and the hilarious EML has written about it before, but this is different. This, my friends (get it?) is about the best Friends Thanksgiving episode of all: The One with the Football. And it’s Thanksgiving week! Happy holidays to the lot of you!
Oh, and also, can we talk about how all of their comfy football outfits are my favorite things? I’d totally wear all of them, IRL, like not even just to play football. (HA — I do not play football.)
EINTKILF TOW The Football
1. The Netherlands is real.
Chandler embarasses poor Joey in front of the pretty lady they are both trying to get with by pointing out his, well, simplicities.
Joey: Uh, well the Pennsylvania Dutch come from Pennsylvania.
Chandler: And the other Dutch come from somewhere near the Netherlands right?
Joey: Nice try, see the Netherlands is this make believe place where Peter Pan and Tinkerbell come from.
I am a Rachel, but I feel for Joey in this instance because I didn’t know Yemen existed back when I first saw the episode where Chandler tells Janice he’s moving to Yemen. I know, I know. But I had a coworker who thought Rome was in Romania, so.
2. How to actually play football.
Before this episode, I had no idea the rules of football. I mean, I am still kind of fuzzy about them, but I understand the game a lot more because of the Friends. I told you I was a Rachel, but I also can relate to Phoebe’s broader view on life.
Monica: Okay, Pheebs, you know what you’re doing right?
Monica: Okay, Joey’s gonna catch the ball and you and I are gonna block.
Phoebe: What’s block?
Monica: Phoebe, I thought you said you knew what you’re doing.
Phoebe: I thought you meant in life.
Though let’s be real — def don’t know what I’m doing in life either.
3. Breaking up is hard to do.
The episode begins with Joey being annoyed with Chander because he won’t get over Janice, but I always feel bad for Chandler. I take like four years (literally not exaggerating) to get over a breakup, so I think he should lay off!
Joey: Come on man! You never want to do anything since you and Janice broke up.
Chandler: That’s not true! I wanted to wear my bathrobe and eat peanut clusters all day. I wanted to start drinking in the morning. Don’t say that I don’t have goals!
I relate to his goals. Basically always.
4. Picking teams is the WORST.
For those of us normal humans who hated gym class, we know that picking teams just plain sucks. There is nothing worse than having to wait in a big group of awkward people to see if anyone thinks you are worthy enough to be on a team with them. Spoiler alert: I was basically always picked last. It might actually be worse in a group with your five best friends, one of whom is your boyfriend. Also poor Rachel just gets screwed over this whole episode.
5. Friends shouldn’t fight over girls.
Or boys, or any human really. I have luckily very rarely been in a situation where a girlfriend and I are interested in the same person, but even when I have been, it has quickly diffused. One of us would step aside and that would be that. Though I wish I had stories like Joey and Chandler’s, I just don’t see it happening in my life. And you shouldn’t either because friends > above everything. And also Friends > everything.
6. Football is not for everyone.
Because gossip will literally always be more exciting to me than football. Also interesting: gossip about football. My home team stays interesting! (Go Hawks.)
7. Competition is dangerous.
I mean, Monica broke her brother’s nose! They were banned from playing football for most of their lives! Things get kind of crazy when you are a competitive monster like Monica Geller. Ross is very obviously a competitive person as well, but Monica certainly brings an extra intensity to any situation.
8. Family traditions remain important forever.
At the heart of everything, even though Monica and Ross are nuts, the whole Geller Cup thing is really sweet. Even if we all see a troll doll nailed to a 2×4, it is very touching that the family tradition existed in the first place. I wholeheartedly plan on forcing my kids into family traditions one day. My family doesn’t really have any unless you count me making my brothers begrudgingly watch a Christmas movie a tradition.
9. Siblings are the best.
Absolutely my number one favorite aspect of all of life: siblings. No matter how mean or out of control or far apart or near you are, you should love your siblings. They are the only humans who fully understand who you are.
Happy Thanksgiving week to you and yours!