This is no longer a drill; this is go time. In just two days, the entire Friends series will drop on Netflix and we’ll take our own sort of hibernation, which will really be a ten season television binge. This might be the television marathon you’ve been preparing for your whole life. Mark your calendars: this all happens on January 1st 2015.
So, just like how Joey puts on Rachel’s maternity pants to prepare for Thanksgiving, here are the things we can do to prepare for Friends on Netflix.
Step 1: Make friends with a monkey/duck/chicken
You might never find a monkey friend as loving as Marcel, but you might come close. And if a monkey is too hard to obtain (which, it probably will be) a fallback friend can be found in either a chicken or a duck. Both are Joey and Chandler approved.
Step 2: Take a much deserved bubble bath
Life can be hard. The best thing to do is wash all your troubles away, because it clearly works for Chandler.
Step 3: Put on all of your roommates clothing
Bonus points if you go commando (please don’t go commando). And only resort to this kind of roommate retaliation if they’ve done something really awful, like hide your underwear. Another form of proper punishment could be to simply lock your roommate in a box for about six hours (but don’t do that, either).
Step 4: Over-caffeinate yourself
If you take the 236 episodes, and times them by 22 (which is the rough estimate for how long each episodes runs) that’s about 5,192 minutes. Or, roughly about 87 hours. Or, just over three and a half days, and that’s if you marathon everything, beginning to end, without stopping ONCE. You’re going to need a lot of caffeine, my friends.
Step 5: Learn the chords/all the words to “Smelly Cat”
Friends has never been a sing-a-long show, but how about you make it a sing-a-long show? “Smelly Cat” isn’t Phoebe’s only chart topping hit.
Step 6: Remember to always keep the important things in check
Friends, family, food. Not necessarily in that order.
Step 7: Choreograph the most epic dance with your brother/sister
Considering it’s the holiday season, you’re bound to run into your siblings on a few occasions. Take that precious time, and learn a choreographed and synchronized dance to the best pop tune of the day so you’re ready for the big dance show on New Year’s. Mom and dad will be so proud!
Step 8: Buy a boat
What could possibly be more useful in New York City than a wooden canoe? You can just sit in it and feel majestic. Or, if you’re really adventurous, head down to an auction and try to “guess” how much the boat is worth! It worked for Joey.
Step 9: Binge-watch the Days Of Our Lives episodes with Dr. Drake Ramoray
Like how some people run a half marathon before they run the full marathon, maybe start off with a little television binge. What better way to start than watching all the Days of Our Lives episodes featuring the dashing Dr. Ramoray. It’s just such a shame he fell down that elevator shaft — and he was the only doctor who could have fixed his damaged brain.
Step 10: Brush up on your awkward jokes
You never know when you’re going to need a poorly placed pun, or a joke that’s guaranteed to fall flat. If you’re into that kind of thing, Chandler Bing might be your spirit animal.
Step 11: Brush up on your dinosaur lingo
Ross is going to drop a lot of dinosaur knowledge on you over the course of ten seasons, so you better know exactly what kind of dinosaur he’s talking about if you want to be in on his awesome dinosaur jokes. Or, you could react like everyone else, and remind him that grown adults shouldn’t like dinosaurs (even though they’re great, THB. We’re with you on this one, Ross).
Step 12: Eat something off the floor just to feel alive
Probably not the most sanitary thing in the entire world, but you should never let delicious food go to waste. No judgments here — it’s cheesecake, after all.
Step 13: Get a new haircut
New year, new ‘do. Clearly display for everyone your full and complete Friends devotion with the best haircut to ever come out of the ’90s. Come on, ‘The Rachel’ totally holds up.