Erin Mallory Long
May 16, 2013 8:30 am

Since the finale of The Office has been approaching, I’ve been thinking about the show a lot and revisiting some favorite episodes. I’m not going to get into all my thoughts on the last couple seasons of the show or anything like that. The show is ending, I definitely cried at the Jim/Pam video and Andy singing “I Will Remember You” and I’ll definitely cry at the finale. That’s all you need to know.

Let’s forget the fact that eventually this show brought a rival Erin to my TV every week, because there are so many other ways this show has ruined my life. I will forever love John Krasinski (and my “I Heart Jim” mug) and his facial expressions, I love everything about Kelly Kapoor but definitely her casual Friday outfit is one of the best things ever.

When I met Melora Hardin for work I played it cool until she was leaving where I gushed, “Jan singing ‘Son a Preacher Man’ is one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever seen in my life” and I can’t look at Herr’s chips without thinking about calling up a store to find a specific flavor. And don’t ever show me a George Foreman grill again because I will ask you if you cooked your foot.

Also, remember when Amy Adams was on The Office? And Artie from Glee? And everyone in the world?

Here are five ways The Office ruined my life:

1. Let’s Be Honest: Pam and Jim

Let’s cut to the chase, guys. The biggest life ruiner of this show is Jim and Pam. There is nothing more life ruin-y than their entire story and relationship.

I just re-watched “Casino Night” recently and, obviously, cried.

Since I can’t emotionally handle getting too into the Jim/Pam love story here are some handy bullets.

  • Any moment when Jim is so in love with Pam and Pam is with Roy. Soul-crushing.
  • Kevin’s revelation about their names being PB&J. Killer.
  • His gift to her for Secret Santa.
  • Them in Jim’s bedroom, looking at his stuff. Ugh.
  • Every single Jim/Pam moment in “Booze Cruise.” Especially Amy Adams doing her old cheer and her and Roy getting along.
  • When he comes back from NY, interrupts Pam’s interview, she turns her head away for him to ask her out, she turns back and has tears in her eyes. I’m dead.

Everything from their wedding including when he cuts his tie and how amazing Pam looks on the boat, soaking wet. (Though, really, HOW DID THEY DRY OFF SO QUICKLY?!) Whatever, it’s fine.

I love you, Jim and Pam.

2. Always Think About Michael and Andy While Running

This past weekend some friends of mine and I ran The Color Run. Obviously my friend Jessie immediately brought up the infamous “Fun Run” episode of The Office.

It is all I can think of whenever anyone is talking about running or participating in a fun run. Joking about eating a ton of fettuccini alfredo, joking about Andy’s sore nipples and definitely talking about not drinking water since people with rabies have an irrational fear of water.

Michael Scott: Finishing that 5K was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I ate more fettuccini Alfredo and drank less water than I have in my entire life. People always talk about triumphs of the human spirit. Well, today, I had a triumph of the human body. That’s why everybody was applauding for me at the end, my guts and my heart. And while I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out. I’m very, very proud of that.

Also, the entire day leading up to it all we did was talk about “carbo loading,” obviously.

3. Anything I Want to do in an Office or With Co-Workers is Because of The Office

I work in TV so sometimes my “office” experience is not like other office experiences. But, at the end of the day, someone is still buying office supplies, there’s still a kitchen for people to not take care of, and there are still times when you just have to laugh at your boss.

Pretty much everything that I want out of an office experience I learned from watching The Office.

I am always up for team bonding activities outside of work like the Booze Cruise. One time my department even went on a white water rafting trip to Pennsylvania.

I always want working late to be like Jim and Karen and Andy working late at Dunder Miflin Scranton. And whenever we have any down time I definitely want to be involved in Office Olympics and have an office-wide secret Santa at Christmastime (hopefully with a cute co-worker who has a crush on me – duh, in this world I’m not married).

4. That’s What She Said Jokes Will Always Make Me Laugh

Obviously, as Liz Lemon says, “Steve Carrell OWNS ‘that’s what she said.’” (Definitely watch that clip to remember that scene and also to be like, “There’s The Mother!”) But that doesn’t stop everyone from doing “that’s what she said” jokes.

At my last job we became obsessed with doing “that’s what she said” jokes. The jokes are so immature and so good and almost better when they make no sense (that’s what she said). And I COULD NOT STOP DOING THEM.

My last week of work on that show, I said “that’s what she said” after almost everything anyone said near me. Yes, if you’re wondering, I AM very popular IRL.

It’s a disease and it can’t be stopped. And it’s all Michael Scott’s fault.

Please take a look back at his “that’s what she said” jokes here. This video was only recently pointed out to me and now I’ve watched it approximately 75 gajillion times.

5. No Episode of Television Will Ever Live Up To “Dinner Party”

I’m not even sure how much I can say about this episode. I just want to link to it, dust off my hands and then sit back and relax and watch my point being made.

Every single moment of this episode is my favorite thing. I’ve now twice (after drinking), brought the same friends back to my apartment and said, “so…should we just watch “Dinner Party?” Like, it’s a real thing that happens.

I live for Jan singing, I adore Michael playing charades and I love Pam’s “you can buy new stuff but you can’t buy a new party” line. This episode and everyone’s breakdown is phenomenal and I could watch it over and over again.

I mean, how is it possible that a terrible dinner party makes me jealous? I legitimately want to ATTEND or THROW this exact dinner party (note to self: party idea).

 

Goodbye, The Office, I will miss you.

(Main image via, Fun Run pic via, all other images mine or screengrabbed by me)

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