Crystal Ro
August 24, 2016 3:38 pm
Def American

When Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” came bombarding onto the music scene waaaaay the heck back in 1992, people pretty much lost their minds.

The video was even banned from MTV for a time.

Def American

And while we’re guessing you’re ~pretty familiar~ with the lyrics to this infamous song (as well as Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” which heavily sampled the ’90s hit), you may be less familiar with a particularly funny reimagining that has a more feminist take on the subject.

Here’s a feminist reimagining of “Baby Got Back” for your enjoyment.

And, in case it’s too hard to read, here’s what the alternate lyrics say:

When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist & a round thing in your face, you: RESPECT HER.

MY ANACONDA DON’T WANT NONE if you say no, because I respect your boundaries.

‘CAUSE I’M LONG, AND STRONG AND I’M DOWN TO GET THE FRICTION ON as long as it’s okay with you. Otherwise I’m good with a movie and some tea.

SO LADIES, LADIES, IF YOU WANNA ROLL IN MY MERCEDES please let me know ahead of time so that I can plan accordingly.

BABY GOT self-respect.

OOH BABY I WANNA GET WIT YA, AND TAKE YO PICTURE because you really have lovely eyes.

EVEN WHITE BOYS GOT TO SHOUT I love spending time with you.

I’M TIRED OF MAGAZINES SAYIN FLAT BUTTS ARE THE THING because I don’t appreciate mainstream media dictating standards of beauty and desire.

I WANT A REAL THICK AND JUICY all beef hamburger and would like to invite you to join me for dinner tonight at around 7.

I AINT TALKIN BOUT PLAYBOY because that magazine degrades women and I don’t read it.

DAMN YOU’S A beautiful person would you like to see me again perhaps for coffee and an intellectual discussion?

Gold.

This post has actually been around on the internet since at least 2013, and looks like it got its start on feministblackboard.tumblr.com (which sadly, doesn’t seem to exist anymore).

Sorry.

Tumblr

But lucky for all of us, through the magic of Tumblr, this gem has survived and continues to live on.

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