jessica tholmer
April 21, 2014 9:00 am

Don’t know if y’all missed the news this week, but talks of a Mrs. Doubtfire sequel are all around us, and even though Mara Wilson tweeted about how she wouldn’t do a sequel and broke my ’90s heart, I was inspired to revisit one of my favorite (and weirdest) childhood movies. Shall we?

(Also Lisa Jakub is an HG girl!)

EINTKILF Mrs. Doubtfire

1. Icing makes a great face mask.

Hellll-ooooo! 

2. Don’t swear in front of your children.

Natalie: We’re his goddamn kids too.
Daniel: Heh–kids say the darnedest things.
Miranda: Thank you. Any other choice phrases you’d like to teach our five year old, Daniel?

I used to love that part because one time I said the “s” word back to my mother because she said it to me, and I wasn’t being sassy, I just repeated her by accident. And also, I never knew not swearing in front of children was a thing until I was an adult, soooo good lesson to learn early on.

3. Spending time with children is complicated.

Well I mean, it doesn’t have to be complicated, but since poor Daniel has to dress up in latex, a granny wig, and a huge floral dress to spend time with his kids, I think it is safe to say that it can get complicated. Though I definitely appreciate Mrs. Doubtfire‘s imaginative scenarios, I would really like to know what CPS or a family lawyer would do in a real situation like this. Hopefully give it up to Pops for being so sneaky that he went to two different dinners in the same restaurant as two different people in the same night! Because that ish is impressive.

4. Pierce Brosnan is really shiny.

Right? PS I used to have a super big crush on Pierce Brosnan, which is dumb because he’s a million and I was like 8 years old. But I mean, he was James Bond, so I’m not that dumb.

5. Having an imagination is vital.

Because without an imagination, how else would you decide to dress up as a fake nanny to hang out with your kids? Oh, and beyond that, Daniel’s imagination is actually really sweet and lands him a gig on television just because that dude saw him playing with those dinosaur toys. Man, I wish I had an imagination. I know that sounds like I am joking around, but I really don’t have an imagination. I can’t come up with stuff on my own, which is why I always read books. I can get sucked into someone else’s imaginative land, but I definitely was not that kid who thought big empty boxes were fun. A big empty box is a big empty box. Shut up and turn on The Simpsons.

6. Sometimes kids are more functional than their parents.

Because check out these facial expressions. Poor Lawrence brother and the older sister. And you think your parents are nuts!

7. Divorce does not mean your family doesn’t love you.

Anyone who grew up in the ’90s has probably since had the same epiphany that I have had in recent years. Basically every family movie was about a divorce, or separated parents, or trying to get parents back together, or dealing with parents remarrying. Right? So Mrs. Doubtfire is obviously no different. The entire movie revolves around Sally Field (Miranda) getting super mad at Robin Williams (Daniel) for–yet again–being a grown-up child…and probably some other marital issues that I don’t remember. But the ultimate lesson, as Daniel explains via his advice show at the end of the movie, divorce does not mean that your family doesn’t love you. It just means that sometimes your mother can’t handle your father’s antics anymore.

8. Familial support comes in many shapes and sizes.

I obviously had to have a lesson in here acknowledging that in no way, shape, or form do I believe that men dressing up as women is strange. Just because Daddy likes to put on a dress and more makeup than most women does not mean he doesn’t love and support you. I am not speaking from experience, but I kind of wish I was.

9. “You know some parents, when they’re angry, get along much better when they don’t live together.”

Another line from the advice portion of Daniel’s show, but it is also a perfectly clear lesson for this EINTKILF. Your parents will always be there for you, no matter what the living situation may be.

And finally…

10. Throwing parties involving Kris Kross music and random horses can end your marriage.

Lastly, I didn’t even shout out Harvey Fierstein, so I will just say holla righhhht here. Oh also, I have been listening to the soundtrack while writing this and I am finally to the James Brown song, so my timing is on point. Happy Monday!

Featured image via buzzsugar, icing image via news.com.au, Pierce image via ponchslifeinfilm.blogspot.com, Lisa image via huffingtonpost, Mara image via news.com.au, Matthew image via fanpop, party GIF image via cgicd.tumblr.com

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