Everything I Need to Know, I Learned From ‘Stardust'

I am still going with a Valentine’s theme here, y’all, because I am super sappy. Instead of writing about just a couple, I chose to write about Stardust instead of just Tristan and Yvaine because the whole movie has a ton of lessons to teach us. Besides, it’s almost Oscar season and we have some Academy love spread amongst the actors in this film, so let’s do it!


1. Do the stars gaze back?

The first lines in the film are some of the best: 

A philosopher once asked, “Are we human because we gaze at the stars, or do we gaze at them because we are human?” Pointless, really. ‘Do the stars gaze back?” Now that’s a question.

It certainly is one of those “chicken or the egg” type questions that I always flip flop on. Hey, I can be deep, but I am easily persuaded. Regardless, the opening lines of the film sucked me in immediately the first time I watched it, and every time since.

For the record, I think the stars gaze back. You know, like Mufasa taught us. They have our back.

2. Never waste your time on people who will never love/want you.

Adorable, charming Tristan spends his days attempting to impress his Victoria… and FOR WHAT? She is the worst! She treats him like crap, she is stuck up and she is clearly more interested in that guy with the mustache. Get outta here, Victoria! She doesn’t even seem to appreciate his suggestions of things he would bring her like a polar bear’s head. She’s awful. Pretty, but awful.

3. You can learn a lot through an adventure.

So Victoria finally is like, “Yeah, sure Tristan, bring me back that fallen star we just saw shoot through the sky,” and he’s like, “Okay!” because he is adorable and accommodating. Lucky for Tristan, the fallen star is Yvaine, the soon-to-be love of his life. They of course embark on an adventure and end up meeting both great and terrible people. They also (spoiler alert!) fall in love, and it is so, so sweet.

Also, when Tristan went after the “fallen star”, did he expect a human, or was he thinking he would find, like… a big rock or something? You know? I don’t know. The point is, he is lucky.

4. Robert DeNiro is pretty hot.


5. Bickering is cute.

Tristan: You know you sort of…glitter sometimes. I’ve just noticed it. Is it–is it normal?
Yvaine: Let’s see if you can work it out for yourself. What do stars do?
Tristan: Hmm. Attract trouble?
(Yvaine pushes him.)
Tristan: All right, I’m sorry. Let me–do I get another guess? Is it, do they know exactly how to annoy a boy called Tristan Thorn?

And differences are wonderful! And people don’t always have to agree! And I love bickering!

6. Michelle Pfeiffer has obviously eaten a shooting star’s heart IRL.

Because she is almost 55 and looks 30. You go Glen Coco.

7. People are not always who they seem to be.

Speaking of my birthday twin DeNiro, Captain Shakespeare seems like a chauvinistic murderer of a pirate but when Tristan and Yvaine get to know him, he is nothing like they assumed. Yes, he kidnapped them, but he dresses them up, treats Tristan as his nephew, and becomes a confidante for them both. As DeNiro’s roles tend to do, Shakespeare is the reason Tristan realizes he loves Yvaine.

Tristan: You want to know what the Captain really whispered to me that day? He told me that my true love…

Tristan: …was right in front of my eyes. And he was right.

8. Power is not worth ripping families apart.

Besides whatever is going on with Tristan and Yvaine and their adventure, the whole story is centered around a gaggle of brothers who are all power hungry to be the next king. When their father dies in the beginning of the story (also RIP Peter O’Toole in real life), he throws a necklace (that Yvaine is wearing throughout the story) out into the world for his sons to basically go and fight over. None of the brothers become the King because they are all dumb and mean to each other and their karma is to be reunited in the afterlife forever.

Their sister is Tristan’s mother, which means Tristan becomes King. Because he is not a jerk. That’s the lesson.

9. Be with someone who makes you shine. 

You know how much I love that Yvaine starts to glow whenever Tristan is around? Do you know how much I love that? I believe I have said before (probably in a previous EINTKILF) that I wish that happened in real life, and that way there were no mind games about who actually loved who, but I will not dwell on that because I am in a committed, loving relationship now and I don’t need a glowing aura to prove that.

I know no one is actually a shooting star in real life but you know…it is a really beautiful sentiment, especially when Tristan and Yvaine are dancing gahhhhhhhh.

10. What love is: 

I’ve seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate… It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves… You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing. – Yvaine

One of the best, sweetest, and most truthful explanations of love and humanity probably ever. It reminds me of Coke commercials, because they always make me feel like the world isn’t as awful as we think it is. Very touching, almost like drinking a nice icy glass of Coca-Cola.

Nah dudes, I don’t work for Coke, I just have always loved it. And love. And speeches about love.

That is all, folks. Prep yourselves for an Oscar post next week because OMG IT IS SO SOON.

Featured image via , Tristan and Yvaine image via fanforum

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