Bahahahahahaha. Just kidding. Have you even met me? (Well you probably haven’t met me, but whatevs.) Anyway, I am almost done with my Oscar posts, you guys! Can you believe we are toward the end of February? Well anyway, I hope you guys had a nice Valentine’s Day. I know I did. I watched Titanic three times last week, and kicked myself for already having written my EINTKILF Titanic like a million years ago. Don’t worry though, dudes. I am super crafty. I can do plenty more Titanic posts because I have learned from at least three of the characters, and I have definitely learned from…the greatest Oscar winning song of all-time. Céline, hit it!
EINTKILF “My Heart Will Go On,” Song + Video
1. Céline Dion’s hair is the flowiest hair, probably ever.
The very beginning of the music video is actually scenes from the very beginning of the movie Titanic, but the first shot of Miss Dion that the lucky viewers get is of her hair just like…sensually grazing her long neck. Full disclosure: I have a mad love affair with Céline, so. Go into this knowing that.
Also, when I say “very beginning of the movie”, I mean “first Jack and Rose scenes”, which to me is when the movie starts because the documentary/Brock Lovett parts are like so boring to me. I’m not in it for the research!
2. The transition between Céline and Leo is flawless.
So the music video is the most simple music video ever besides that one Bruno Mars video I watched kinda recently with the specific purpose of trying to see what Bruno Mars looks like but instead got a spinning record literally the whole video. No work went into the making of that video at all. Say video one more time.
But “My Heart Will Go On” is just Céline singing while they cut to scenes throughout literally the entire movie. By the end of this video, the movie is over and we know the whole story except they don’t really let on that Jack dies, which is nice because what if you watched the video before the movie?
Or what if you have never seen the movie and I just ruined it for you? No apologies, you goon! You have had plenty of time since 1997 to watch this movie!
Oh right, anyway – so they cut from Leo’s face to Céline’s in one particular part of the video and it’s like…whoa! Doppleganger week!
3. Celine Dion was on the Titanic?
I know I just ignorantly claimed that this video was really simple, but actually it probably cost a lot of money to make Céline look like she was on the actual ship, right? Plus that green screen to make it look like the sun is setting was probably pretty darn pricey, as well.
When I first found out that the background to Jack and Rose’s first kiss was green screen, I about cried myself to sleep. It was the last time I ever watched “special features” on a DVD because I hate movie magic! I just want to be fooled.
4. …and is getting married?
What’s with the wedding dress, Céline? I have a feeling she was actually really bummed that she wasn’t asked to play Rose Dewitt Bukater.
5. TITANIC IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER.
Ugh, sorry for the outburst, but the video just showed the clip of Rose jumping back on the boat, and she’s so stupid, and why’d she do that, and she’s so stupid, but man Jack just loves her so much.
6. The heart DOES go on.
And on. Okay, but can we talk about this? Do you think the lyrics to this song mean that you can love and lose and still love again? Because that’s kinda what “goes on” implies to me, but then also it is counterproductive to be like…my heart goes on, but I dream of you every night and that’s how I know I’m going on? I don’t know, I guess I just don’t really get this song. I also don’t get “Wannabe” by Spice Girls. Look, I know that’s like a 90s kid crime, but I just will never understand any of those lyrics! I most certainly do not want my lover getting with my friends and DON’T LIE TO ME you guys don’t know what “zigga zigga ahh” means either, even now.
7. She says “YOU’RE HERE” in my heart, not “YOU HEAR in my heart.”
This was a legit argument between me and some other little girls when I was ten years old, and I guess until right now, I just never really knew which it was. (Have I ever even watched this music video before? Ehhh unsure.) Céline most def just hugged herself like she means “you are here” in her heart, not that you can hear into her heart because that would mean she would have to lean down and listen to her chest and I don’t even know if that’s a possible thing for a human to do, but if anyone could do it, it would be Céline.
I took and then taught a Sign Language class in high school and everyone had to choose a song to sign to the class and obviously I chose this song, and I don’t even remember if I signed “you’re here’ or “you hear,” and I also don’t remember why I thought I should tell the world that I did that at all just now.
8. All songs should have an “mmhmmmmm” part in them.
It’s especially good for taking a break while you are signing a song to a class of people who want to kill you for making them listen to this song. But it won an Oscar! This song is literal gold, haters.
9. The line “there’s nothing I fear” coordinates with the iceberg hitting the ship, so like…that love is FEARLESS.
As all love should be, or so I have been told. Can’t say that I’ve had fearless love, but I can name some relationships that have.
- Romeo and Juliet because they both blew off their families’ feelings, and grudges to be with each other. (For like two days, but whatever.)
- Jack and Rose, obviously, their love survived an iceberg–I mean, no it didn’t, but they get married in heaven 84 years later, so counting it.
- Jay-Z and Beyoncé, because they were Bonnie and Clyde in 2001.
- Simba and Nala…because they were/are lions and lions were/are scary.
10. No one else ever needs to be in a Celiné Dion video with Celiné Dion because she is Celiné Dion.
Annnnnnnnd watch this. You’re welcome.
Featured image via last.fm.com, Flowy hair image via fanpop.com, “Here in my heart” image via allan-musicvideos.blogspot, last image via vimeo.com, Bruno Mars image via musicproducersforum.files.wordpress.com.