jessica tholmer
October 06, 2014 12:22 pm

Okay, I know it is Halloween and EINTKILF should be scary-themed, but I just cannot pretend to be scared of stuff when I am so excited to go to Disneyland (which I get to do later this month–YAY). I have not been since I was super little–like 2.5 years old or something–so this is a big deal. Also, I realized I never write about Disney movies, so without further ado, let us dive right in.

EINTKILF Aladdin

1. Share with others

I am of the mindset that everyone should act out of the goodness of their hearts, not purely out of legal obligation, but I am also of the mindset that people shouldn’t break most laws. Aladdin steals bread to feed himself and his sweet little Abu. Now, this is a Disney film and I certainly don’t encourage shoplifting, but Aladdin and his pal are just trying to survive–and I’m OK with that.

So, when you steal bread from the market, share it with the starving children. And if you can afford to buy said bread and do not have to steal it, then you still should share bread with starving kids.

2. And don’t be greedy

Skipping way ahead, when Aladdin meets Genie and discovers that he will be granted three wishes, Genie breaks down the rules for him. Now, adding limitations on wishes in these situations is an age-old literary technique, probably to avoid huge story plot lines, yeah? Regardless, not that Aladdin complains much, but it is a good life rule to not be greedy when someone is offering you a bunch of free stuff and/or is about to grant you wishes.

It is always bringing back the dead, huh?

3. And! And! Reverse psychology totally works

. . .at least on genies. Though Aladdin should have had to use one of his wishes to get out of the cave he was trapped in, but he used an ol’ parenting trick instead, pretending to be unimpressed with the Genie’s range of powers. It worked, obviously, but I would like to point out that reverse psychology usually does not work. (Is that real? Do you guys do this?!)

Are you looking at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And all of a sudden you’re walking out on me?

4. Don’t be a liar

Jasmine likes Aladdin for who he is way before she knows his real identity, and then when she discovers who she thinks he is, she doesn’t like him all that much, until, well, until she does. This is like an episode of Three’s Company. The whole point is, as Genie encourages, to always tell the truth. Even if you do something weird and then have to admit the truth later. Lying isn’t a very nice thing to do, ever. (Except, you know, the nice lies about liking someone’s new dress or whatever.)

5. Women are not prizes to be won

This was my favorite part when I was a kid.

I guess I should have known what kind of woman I would grow up to be. (A badass one. Jasmine rules.)

6. Status should not be a factor in love

I just love a good ‘wrong side of the tracks’ love story. Now in my life, I guess I would be the ‘wrong side of the tracks’ person, but I don’t date princes. I am not saying I wouldn’t, I am saying that I like a man with a solid back story of familial struggle. It’s what I find attractive and I cannot help it. That all being said, I am all about the rich and the poor falling for each other. Like Jack and Rose, guys. I am talking about Jack and Rose, now and always.

7. Do not do anything Jafar would do

And that includes: insulting women, forcing marriage upon women, stealing Genies, being obsessed with power, mistreating animals, mistreating women, mistreating street rats and other paupers, and hypnotizing Sultans.

8. If you can, set your loved ones free

But oh, to be free. Not to have to go, “Poof! What do you need? Poof! What do you need? Poof! What do you need?” To be my own master. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world. But what am I talking about? Let’s get real here, that’s never gonna happen. Genie, wake up and smell the hummus.

Now if you will allow me a most important sidenote:

I have yet to find the words to express the loss of Robin Williams. I have not found myself in the right state of mind to write about one of his characters, or movies, or the real man since that terrible, terrible day. Even reading the words I know he ad-libbed as an animated blue magical man/creature is a bit painful. I know you all agree. So, right now, for now, I will say that I just miss his voice. I know we all do.

Featured image , tasty gif , reverse psychology GIF via, Jasmine GIF via, kiss image via, Jack Dawson via, Iago image via, Genie image via.
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