If you’ve read the Harry Potter series and are anything like me, you’ve had moments where a character cast a spell and you were like, “Man, that would come in really handy.” I still catch myself wishing I had a particular spell in my back pocket sometimes when I really need a shortcut and could use the extra time – though I suppose that’s where a Time-Turner would also come in handy, but a story about which magical objects would be most useful is a whole different animal for another day.
Spells, though. Lots of spells from JK Rowling’s brain would help me, and I’m sure lots of us, in our everyday life. And not even the really impressive ones, necessarily – I personally wish I could wave around my Hermione-model wand from The Wizarding World of Harry Potter just to give me a little more time to sleep in or squeeze in an extra 42 minutes for another episode of Gilmore Girls on Netflix before bed. I wouldn’t mind having a few super-cool spells, though – like Expecto Patronum, just to see what my Patronus really is. Although if it wasn’t a cat or an entire pizza covered in Hershey’s syrup, I wouldn’t know what to believe anymore, so deep down I’m not sure I really want to know.
Anyway, here are 10 of my most-coveted spells. It was hard to narrow this list down, so yes, I cheated a little by combining some. It’s the 49% Slytherin in me.
I can’t even tell you the number of times I’ve gotten in the shower to realize my conditioner is out and either annoy my husband to grab it or traipse out to get it myself if he isn’t there, consequently tracking water all over my bathroom floor. I could probably think of a less shallow reason this summoning spell would be great to have around, but alas. Conditioner: the ultimate #firstworldproblem.
This spell, which makes water appear from the tip of your wand, would save a lot of germ-spreading from water fountains. Also, we’d save so much money on overpriced bottled water at theme parks. Win.
Arania Exumai / Vipera Evanesca
These spells get rid of spiders and snakes. I don’t think I need to expand here.
Episkey / Brackium Emendo
These two spells mend a broken nose and a broken arm, respectively, but any medical spells would be really helpful – and since Tonks (an Auror) can safely perform Episkey, I’m assuming we wouldn’t have to be Healers to figure it out. Can you imagine how much time, money, and stress we’d save by limiting trips to the emergency room and conversations with insurance companies?
I’d be all over this spell that builds things for you. Hermione used it to put up tents in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows to make sure she, Harry, and Ron could get to safety and comfort in a reasonable amount of time. Similarly, I’d use it to assemble IKEA furniture because I’m lazy and hate reading instructions. I would never have slept on a mattress that had been flipped onto the wrong side for three days if Erecto was a thing. My back still hurts, and my husband is still laughing. And that was in May.
Langlock / Silencio
These spells stick the speaker’s tongue to the roof of their mouth and silence noises, respectively. This could be useful in situations when people have been going on and on after a meeting/class has been over for five minutes and you just want a cup of coffee, or if you’re getting cat-called. For the latter, I’d probably go ahead and recommend Langlock just because it’d be way more satisfying.
Lumos / Nox
Show of hands: Who has woken up in the middle of the night and stubbed their toe in the darkness while just trying to get to the bathroom, consequently making their need to go to the bathroom that much more intense while adding excruciating foot pain to the mix? MEEEEEE!
I know the flashlight feature on our phones may fix this, but if our phones were out of reach or dead and we needed a quick light, our wands would have our backs with Lumos (and Nox, to extinguish the light).
This bad boy erases memories. Which can be dangerous, admittedly, but I mean…if you can pick what memories you erase, it could come in handy when you embarrass yourself. And we’ve all been there. Spring Break (insert your favorite shenanigans-laden year here), baby!
This is the spell to turn any object into a Portkey which, when touched, transports us anywhere we want to go. Ummmm yes please! Traffic would be a thing of the past. I’d Portkey a different object for all my most-traveled-to locations, like work, the grocery store, the gym, and wow my life is so exciting.
Reparo / Scourgify
A spell that fixes broken things would probably make me more excited about buying a house, not gonna lie. The idea of losing a landlord/maintenance crew who comes and fixes everything the same day at no charge to me is daunting, but with Reparo I’d be totally set.
Also, related: a spell that cleans my house? Do I even need to explain this? For us Type-As who love cleanliness and neatness but hate actual cleaning, this would be a godsend.
(Image via Warner Bros.)